Friday, September 24, 2004

Nuts To You!

I guess you're wondering my deal w/ Miranda's gnarly squirrel teeth. Well, I had a couple of extremely traumatic squirrel run-ins in college...

At Notre Dame, we have these large, ultra-aggressive, alpha male type mutant squirrels on campus. I think it may have something to do with the Radiation Lab on campus. In any event, one time, I had gone to the Student Center and bought a can of honey roasted peanuts. I made the mistake of opening it when I got outside. In the blink of an eye, I was surrounded by a pack of mutant squirrels that were out for blood. I would try to walk away, but they kept me surrounded. Finally, I took a handful of peanuts, threw them in one direction and ran the other direction. Fortunately, the squirrels took the bait and I escaped with my life.

The other time, I had bought a bag of peanut M&M's and was walking outside when I mutant squirrel ambled up to me. I had tossed him one, but that was not nearly enough to satisfy his gnawing hunger. I had taken another out and had it in my hand when the mutant squirrel climbed up my leg, grabbed the M&M out of my hand. It looked at me with these glowing red eyes, snarled with these razor sharp, gnarled, yellow teeth, then shook its little fist at me before it scampered down my leg. I was startled, surprised that it didn't end up taking the whole bag, and thankful that it had spared my life.

As you can see, the sight of Miranda's amazingly squirrel-like teeth never failed to bring back these traumatic memories...


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