Behold the Power of Cheese!

I'll bet you've all heard about it by now, but this religious icon - the Holy Santa Maria de Torta Queso was recently sold for $28,000 to an online casino. This sacred sandwich is reported to have mystical powers - after 10 years it has not grown moldy and the original owner, Diane Duyser reports it had brought her luck - including winnings of $70,000 at a casino near her Florida home. The casino, Goldenpalace.com, intends to take the icon on tour -- "We believe that everyone should be able to see it and learn of its mystical power for themselves."

You know, I'm really glad that this country is returning to good, old fashioned moral values so we can be worthy enough to venerate the Our Lady of the Kraft Singles. Personally, I think the military should buy the sandwich and use it to lead our Holy American Crusaders to victory in Iraq. It's a sign, I tell you... A sign that our cause is just and that WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!