Thursday, November 02, 2006

Fuck? NO!

While my brain is just about ready to explode from an overload of government and election related crap, I just couldn't pass this up. In another sign that the Bush administration has not only been drinking its own Kool-Aid but has passed into the realm of a full-on psychotic break, the Department of Health Services has recently announced that it is now targeting adults for its Abstinence Only "education" programs.

Revised DHS guidelines specify that states may target "adolescents and/or adults within the 12- through 29-year-old age range." Wade Horn, assistant secretary for children and families at the DHS explained, "We wanted to remind states they could use these funds not only to target adolescents."

Yes, despite the fact that "well over 90%" of adults between the ages between 20-29 have had sex, your federal government is ready to spend millions of dollars to treat you like children -- last year Congress allocated $50 million, though it remains unclear how much will be approved this year and how much will be spent on programs targeted at adults. I'm expecting large expenditures on posterboard and glitter paint so that we can make millions of "True Love Waits" posters to be put up at every singles bar around the country.

Horn explained DHS's message, which would sound kind of hokey on an episode of DeGrassi High and only sounds worse when you realize they're talking to you: "It's better to wait until you're married to bear or father children. The only 100% effective way of getting there is abstinence." Of course, us card-carrying homosexuals don't even exist in this fantasy-world -- we're all being sent to ex-gay conversion camps where we can meet a nice lesbian and settle down. Madness, I say, madness.


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