Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Its So Big!

For those of you who haven't been keeping track, Jake over at Gestalt decided to play Truth or Dare. The twist is that whoever asked the question or made the dare had to answer the question or complete the dare. I chose truth.

My Question:

Please describe, in detail, your encounter with the largest penis you’ve come across in real life.

In retrospect, not the most challenging of questions for Jake, but you can read his response here -- its definitely NOT safe for work. You can also buy the video in question here.

So, despite the fact that my question was less than challenging for Jake and while I'm not usually the type to kiss and tell, here's my story.

It was back in 2001 -- I hadn't quite emerged from my trashier days... the scene -- South Scottsdale, a small, yet notorious, adult bookstore in the area which shall remain nameless. Anyway, on that evening I was definitely up to no good... And I found it.

There's the racial stereotype that black men are the biggest, and while that may or may not be true in general, in this particular instance I can attest that big things can be found in the most unlikely of places. He was attractive, not overwhelmingly so, but someone you'd definitely give a second glance if you saw him in a bar. We make out a bit -- I'm definitely a big fan of kissing when there's an attractive guy involved -- and we proceed to a little game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." When it comes to the question of cock, to be honest, I've always been able to hold my own. To be honest, its a rare occasion where I've been on the short end of the stick, so to speak. Every now and again, however, life throws you a curve.
It sounds like a line from an overworked piece of bad, gay pulp fiction -- ten and a half inches and thick as my wrist (I have small wrists, so this thing was thicker than that)... In my experience, when someone starts muttering something about 10 inches or so, it means they started measuring from the back of their ass. But here it was, literally staring me in the face. Really, I had always believed that cocks of such enormous size were just stories people told to scare children and novelty items sold in bookstores just like that one, just for shock value.

A couple of things you notice when you're confronted by one of nature's wonders -- first, does that thing ever get really hard? Could it? Would he have enough blood in his body to support the body's essential functions and still get it in workable condition? Second is that you tend to lose all sense of reason in situations like that. So much so, that I ended up going home with the guy.

I suppose I could have escaped at any time along the way... but the reality of things didn't really become apparent until we got to his apartment. Once we were in his bedroom I realized the predicament I was in -- there is NO WAY IN HELL that thing is coming anywhere near my ass. Truth be told, even in the best of times I'm a rather reluctant bottom and I REALLY have to be into the guy. This one was way out of my league and it also would violate my rule #1 when it comes to buttsex -- no permanent damage. I think he got the hint when he found me curled up in a little ball in the corner, whimpering in fear. Fortunately, I think it had been fed not too long ago -- I think I could see the poor creature it had devoured still being digested. And so, I was freed, alive to tell the tale.

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