I'm My Own Hero

(Thanks Madhouse @Pluto Drive)

When Zombies Attack...

Apparently my Zombie post struck a chord out there because I just received an e-mail about another Zombie site -- Lost Zombies. I didn't realize that the Zombie community had such a strong internet presence.


Visit Lost Zombies

Nothing Important Happened Today

I ended up having a slight change in plans and ended up going to see X-Files: I Want to Believe with Alex. While I was never a hard core X-Files fan, I generally liked the series -- personally, I enjoy the premise of the true believer and the skeptic trying to uncover the unexplained. I liked the experience of challenging the types of things that we'd like to ignore or deny. It was entertaining to believe that there really was much more out there than we see in our day to day existence...

...and the sexual tension between Mulder and Scully was off the charts.

Flash forward to the present movie. The original series is best summed up with the iconic phrase, "The truth is out there." Sadly, the latest film is best described by one of the episode titles in season 9 (for the record, I looked it up) -- "Nothing important happened today." I won't go into the plot -- perhaps some of you might actually go see it... not that there's much to spoil.

I didn't have any expectations going into the film, so you'd think it I wouldn't be disappointed... but I was. Why? Because by the end of the film you realize, it was all hopeless. Mulder is still tortured that he hasn't found his sister, the abducted sister that even HE admits is dead. Scully is still tortured and raging against God. This time, there's no conspiracy, at least nothing out of the ordinary. Just tortured people chasing more tortured people... and that's the saddest part: the realization that there's nothing left of Mulder & Scully, only their withered shells that STILL. CAN'T. LET. GO. What's worse is hearing them go back and forth about how they just can't be together because neither of them can do much more than not let go. It was like the final episode of Seinfeld where the writers make it clear that at the end of things that everyone is exactly who they were when they started. It was all for nothing.

It's really surprising how many people I heard expressing their disappointment in things as the credits started. Why? Because by the end of the film the only thing that happened was that Mulder & Scully decide they'll go back to being miserable together. Great. Back to where you started. SO glad we went through that. Nothing important happened today.

Best. Title. Ever.

I was talking with Adam about going to see the new X-Files movie tonight. I was checking to make sure that it was out, popped over to a movie site only to discover the best movie title ever: The Midnight Meat Train. Ok, I know it's really another edition of "oh.my.god. we're.all.going.to.die." starring Tori Spelling and featuring a flesh eating Nicholas Cage, but this is the best title of a real thing that sounds like porn since Dexys Midnight Runner's, "Come On Eileen."

The Midnight Meat Train? OMFGBBQ, how many gay men haven't ridden that? Or wouldn't enjoy riding it? What makes the whole idea even more delicious is the caption on the film poster on the right: "The most terrifying ride you'll ever take." Yeah, that's what all straight guys say until they actually ride the midnight meat train... and then he tells you that he was sooooooo drunk and he's never done ANYTHING like that before, he swears and please don't tell anyone... and oh by the way, why don't you give him a call sometime so you can chill, watch SportsCenter, drink some beers and "hang out," ya know?

Heh, thinking of a straight guy calling the midnight meat train "the most terrifying ride you'll ever take" makes me think of a guy who's been featured on StraightHell.net. (Definitely NSFW!) Either that or he hasn't been able to admit to his friends that he's been featured on Sean Cody for the past 6 months.

In any event, I'll leave you with the above mentioned Dexys Midnight Runner for all you nostalgic types.

MY PRECIOUS!

A fabulous new site from the creators of I Can Has Cheezeburger: Totally Looks Like.com

Oh. My. God. We're. All. Going. To. Die.

Last week, Adam and I went to go see Hellboy 2-it was opening day and we didn't get to the theater early, so there weren't any decent seats. We decided that rather than split up or trying to squeeze in between a group of very geeky breeders, we'd suck it up and just sit in the front row. We were immediately punished by the Universe, first by a wave of nausea from being so close to the screen and then by a preview of the new Nicholas Cage flick - Bankok Dangerous. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- Nicholas Cage is looking AWFUL. He looks even worse when you're RIGHT in front of the screen.

Right before the movie started, we had another treat -- a preview for the latest bad horror flick - Quarantine. Essentially, it's a bunch of people locked up in an apartment building who all die in some unspeakably gruesome manner, shot in the style of The Blair Witch Project. Oh boy.

Several months ago, while watching BSG at Alex's, there was a commercial for some horror flick I never bothered to watch: I think it was Cloverfield - another bad horror flick shot in The Blair Witch Project style. The hallmark of these films, in my opinion, is the idea that if the actors just scream a LITTLE LOUDER then the audience will know they're supposed to be scared. From that point on, any time I encounter a horror flick, I always blurt out in monotone: "oh. my. god. we're. all. going. to. die."

The Quarantine preview was no exception. Having just seen the preview of the new Nicholas Cage film, however, I was struck with brilliance -- if you took Quarantine and tweaked the plot to include Nicholas Cage as an lich who must eat the beating hearts of the protagonists in order to maintain the illusion of humanity and keep flesh over his skeletal frame, you'd have a pretty good film. I'd pay to see that.

At that point, I thought I had come up with the ultimate horror film. I was wrong.

Today, Alex pointed out yet another outlandish new horror film in the works: Cthulu. While the trailer I watched did not appear to include a creature with a squid for a head, it did have something even more brilliant for a horror film -- Tori Spelling.

Now before you get the idea that I'm comparing Tori Spelling with a mythical source of all evil, don't misunderstand me. I like Tori Spelling. Her performance in Trick forever changed the way I looked at her -- here's someone who can embrace her status as a B-movie actress and knows that her daddy paid good money for those breasts. She is the quintessential sort of actress for a horror flick.

So today I told Alex my new rule: All horror flicks star Tori Spelling and are titled, "oh. my. god. we're. all. going. to. die." Throw in a flesh-eating Nicholas Cage and now we really DO have the ultimate horror flick.

Vamp

The woman is 81 years old and still amazing. I confess that I don't know much of her music -- but I went simply to experience such an iconic performer.

The night started out a bit rocky as Adam and I were seated next to older women (on each side) who thought that they needed to hum along (off key and rather loudly) to the Symphony's entire opening set. I was also admonished not to take pictures inside Symphony Hall, despite the fact that I had turned the flash off.

After the intermission (where Adam and I remarked on how eclectic the crowd was), we moved a few rows ahead where there were no humming old women. It made quite a difference.

The audience gave Eartha a wonderful response when she came on -- she wore a black velvet dress with a slit down the left side... after all these years she still looks amazing. What impressed me most was that time doesn't seem to have really have changed who she is or what she does -- I was struck by her warmth, charisma and the fact that she is still a vamp at age 81. That's damn impressive.

Eartha!

Although I was a tad surprised because it seems a little gayer than he normally likes, Adam agreed to go see Eartha Kitt with me tonight at Symphony Hall! I'm excited because I've never had the opportunity to see her live. You've got to hand it to the woman -- she's been knocked down by circumstances but she's never let it get the best of her. I'll be sure to update you on it all!

Consensus Reality

I needed a distraction today but Adam wasn't online, and he's usually the one I'd call on in this sort of situation. Fortunately, the Universe provided me with another Adam (he of This Boy Elroy) to confound and frustrate.

Essentially, he brought up the growing slate of self help literature, especially the whole The Secret phenomenon. Being versed in the ways of science, he's particularly perturbed by what he believes is the hijacking of some scientific principles for what he describes as a "spiritual justification for greed."

Personally, I will readily admit that there's a whole lot of marketing going on with most of that, although from my experience, I believe there's some truth wrapped up in the marketing if you're willing to look for it. While I don't come close to knowing all their is to know, I have come to accept that most of what I do know is inherently bound up with the perspective that I hold. I don't know if there's any objective truth one could glean from my life other than my own conclusions about how this world operates for me. That's my daily experimentation of life in a holographic universe.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Adam, who champions objective, scientific truth. I suppose our discussion got down to one basic thing -- the idea that scientific discourse is, at it's heart, a rhetorical style. While Adam describes scientific discussion and analysis in terms of "facts and truth," I see the use of data and interpretation that are being used to reinforce a particular worldview -- that is, reality by consensus.

I'm not sure that I really have a point with this -- it just served as a pleasant distraction. Yes, sometimes I venture into odd stuff.

FEAR THE FRENCH BEAST!

Le help! The French Monsterous Beast will devour your soul!

(From the good people at LOLManuscripts.)

A Pirate's Life

I've been eagerly awaiting my good Pirate friend Jon's return to Phoenix. It had been a while since I was able to visit him in Palm Springs and he hadn't been able to make it out here either. Thursday marked the first time we had gotten a chance to get together in 3 years or so.

I had thought that we might make a return to Tasty Kabob, where we had gone out last time he was in town. In fact, Jon still asks me about Tasty Kabob from time to time. Instead, being an Asian food aficionado, Jon suggested that we try out Roka Akor, a high falutin' Japanese place that happened to be right across the street from his hotel.

Roka Akor is the first US version of Roka, a Robata-style Japanese grill. The other three restaurants are in London, Macau and Hong Kong, which leaves Scottsdale in some rather heady company. I'm not the uber-trendy type, nor am I an expert on Japanese food but I definitely enjoyed the place. It was classy, yet simple, the service was excellent, and the food was top notch. I ended up enjoying some things that I didn't think I'd care for, so adding that on top of excellent company, it made for an excellent evening.

We could have stopped there, but if a fellow Pirate is in town, you'd be mad not to go lookin' fer booty. YARR! So, we made the trek across town into Phoenix intending to do a little plunderin'. There may have been strippers involved, but there's absolutely no photographic evidence of any such activities. There was, however, a nasty straight chick who thought that a bar full of gay men wanted to see her fulfill her life's ambition as a pole dancer. Oddly enough, this bar wasn't quite as classy as Roka Akor. Nonetheless, it was a nice counterpoint to the earlier Scottsdale experience. To top it off, Jon & I decided that we absolutely MUST tour Europe together... and soon.

Good food, grog, good Pirate friends, and hot man-wenches. A pirate's life, 'tis for me.

Bad Hobbit!

Adam sent me a Youtube link a few minutes ago that seemed to captivate him. As I watched, it seemed to refute a number of my deeply held conventions... First -- midgets. Midgets usually make for interesting videos, right? A long, proud tradition of dwarf tossing can't be wrong. Drag queens? Fierce! Spoofs of politicians? De-lish! So a latino midget drag queen proclaiming herself "La Pequeña Hillary Clinton" should be a show stopper, right? Um... not so much. Maybe I'm just feeling a little too picky this evening. Decide for yourselves.

Sauce

After spending the past couple of weeks house sitting for my Aunt & Uncle and their cat, Eddie, and a busy few days of family and Easter, Alex suggested we have some social time together. We decided on heading to Sauce for dinner, though this time we went to the one in Scottsdale rather than the one off Glendale and 16th. There were a few benefits to heading into Scottsdale -- first off, it's a clear reminder that while the economy in the rest of the country may be headed into the tank, there's still plenty of conspicuous consumer spending going on. That means there's money to be had, which is a very encouraging thought.

The other biggest benefit, to be sure, has to be the menz. The first one that caught my eye was a little young... an attractive Sauce employee in his black, fitted Banana Republic button down shirt and snug khakis. While my initial impression was that he had a very high gay quotient -- the spiky hair, the chunky yet stylish shoes... though with today's youth there are times I have trouble distinguishing between gay and metro. I was going to reserve judgment but as he lightly sashayed to our table to deliver our food, it was becoming rather difficult to leave him in the metro category.

That raised another interesting question -- just how many variations of gay movement are there? A few came to mind -- to sashay, to saunter, to prance, to mintz... there are so many subtle variations. I wondered how many others might recognize. In stark contrast there was this floppy haired emo kid busing tables who looked like a young Severus Snape. His arms rarely moved as he slithered between tables and the kitchen.

Our attention quickly turned to a prime ASU beef who was grazing on a salad with a friend. As I was with Alex, I thought about letting my paparazzo instincts take over but I fumbled with the camera on my phone, nervous that the beef would realize he was being photographed, and wasn't able to get a shot.

We then made our way over to Fashion Square in search of more beeves for our viewing pleasure. Wandering aimlessly, it was if the Gods intervened to give us direction -- Collegiate Closet. It was indeed a sign - if we were in search of eye candy, there was only one place we need explore.

Cliché? Perhaps, but this particular stereotype is based in truth. As Alex and I made our way through The Temple of Homoeroticism, we spotted him -- a handsome, hunky college-aged veal clutching his dowdy girlfriend by hand, as if she were a talisman that could ward off evil. To boot, he dragged what appeared to be his mother and aunt in tow -- perhaps he hoped that their combined strength would save him. Alas, we all know that you cannot be saved from what comes from within.

Spicy

Adam invited me to try a new Thai restaurant downtown with him last night. He mentioned the owners also run another Thai restaurant in Tempe, near ASU. I didn't care for the place in Tempe, but I was pleasantly surprised at this new place.

We started out with the calamari, which was breaded and cooked to perfection and served with a sweet and sour sauce. We would have preferred something a little more spicy for the sauce, but we ended up getting our fill of spicy later.

Adam and I both have a penchant for spicy food. Usually we go for Indian food and while we always tell them to make it spicy, sometimes they see Mr. Oklahama (Adam) and they decide that we really didn't mean it. That was not the case here. The food was tasty and almost made Adam weep, it was so hot. It was one of the few occasions where I probably would have enjoyed it a little more if it hadn't been quite so spicy. But overall, I enjoyed it and am looking forward to going back.

The original plan was to finish dinner and then walk over to a small theatre where one of his co-workers was having a performance. The theatre ended up being further away than we had thought and Adam didn't want to go in late. We ended up walking around gawking at some of the new construction downtown.

Aside from some of the highrises that are going up, there are some smaller projects that are slowly changing the character of the area. Adam described one particular condo project as "The Farmhouse Building." The pointed roofs do seem a little out of place, but overall I enjoy having spaces that don't feel like a suburban condo complex. Downtown Phoenix is coming along -- with ASU moving more students downtown and more housing being available, as well as the light rail nearing completion, I get the sense that downtown will be a much more vibrant place before long.

Equivocation

I'm not really one who keeps on the cutting edge of gadgetry -- I usually leave that up to our beloved Bravehound. But lately I'd been jonesing about upgrading from the iPod mini I have... I definitely dig the iPod Touch and the iPhone. At the same time, my cell phone is getting a little beat up and its time for a new one.

I thought about the iPhone, I dig the design and functionality. The downside? I have T-Mobile and I have no desire to jump to AT&T. Hack it, you say? Ehh, I don't have the energy to get into the cat and mouse game that is required to stay ahead of Apple. Too much work. The other consideration is the lesson I got from buying the RAZR -- I hate being part of a trend. Sorry, iPhone, you're just too trendy.

So, I took a look at the Nokia N95 and really got turned on by it -- all the functionality I want, works on T-Mobile and has a 5 megapixel camera (with flash) to boot. Sounds like a marriage made in heaven, right? Nah, here's where the equivocation comes in. cue inner voice. "But its too expensive..." I wouldn't have a problem laying down $350 for an iPod touch and then a good $100-$150 for a decent phone. So what's my damage with paying the same amount for a cool gadget that does it all? Yeah, I asked myself the same thing. There's a week of my life I'll never get back.

The short of it is that the decision has been made, I should be getting it later this week. Like I said, I know its more Bravehound than echeblog, but I should have an unboxing video later this week.

Counterpoint

Super Tuesday is tomorrow and Scott-O-Rama and This Boy Elroy are featuring articles on why they support Hillary Clinton. I decided to give everyone a little counterpoint and explain why I support Barack Obama and urge everyone to take another look at him if you haven't already.

This country needs change. We all know it. In 2004 many of us tried but ultimately, the rallying cry of "anybody but Bush" just wasn't enough. While George W. Bush will be gone after this election, America has been traveling down the wrong road for a while. We can point to the war, mismanagement and corruption or a whole host of bad decisions over the past several years, but these are only symptoms.

At the root of things is the notion that America is somehow at war with itself; that our fellow citizens with which we disagree are our enemies. For too long we've justified reaching political power by whatever means necessary, forgetting that the damage done in the process outweighs whatever possible good that could be achieved. We have been content for our politics to include the few for the benefit of the few. Some of these tendencies are as old as the nation itself, as we have harbored our divisions for much of our history.

Certainly, the challenges facing our country are significant. Implicit in this coming election is whether we can possibly surmount what lies ahead as a nation divided or choose a new path that brings our nation back together. Let me be clear: Neither Barack Obama nor Hillary Clinton will solve all our nation's problems, nor can the solutions that we require be imposed by will alone. True change will only come about by working together.

The irony of this primary is that even though people seem to want change, many who are calling for change are also convinced that we need an "expert" instead of an "amateur," especially when that experience boils down to, "I can spin better, I can outmaneuver, I can beat those guys, I play the game better than they do." While that might have been good enough in 1992 or 1996, hopefully we've learned an important lesson: that we have to work with "those guys" to achieve real solutions instead of political quick fixes. Winning the election isn't enough.

I believe the choice is simple: do you want change or would you prefer the comfort of what you know? Do we play the same tired, old game for another four years? I'm ready for a new direction. I'm ready for Barack Obama.

Marc's Midweek Erik Rhodes Beef Haiku

Just a troubled beef?
Nay, one who is trying to
figure it all out.

(Things will get better, Erik!)

Update

A few days ago, I got a short email from Alex -- basically that I had been quiet and that he was just checking up on me to see if everything was ok. As I take a look back at my blog in recent weeks, I suppose one might ask a similar question. That is, while I love hot beeves and all, I had never really intended that it only be a forum for posting pictures of hot guys and haiku. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Several years ago, I went back to grad school because I wanted to take a different direction in my life. I wanted to be able to help people instead of making my living off the conflict that is the legal system and being miserable along the way.

When I finished my program, I came to a realization -- how can I help people change their lives for the better when I'm not really sure how to do it with my own? How do you teach what you don't know? The last few years have been a slow process of getting rid of the things that didn't work and searching for things that are a better fit.

And through it all, I've been waiting, waiting for that thing to come along that finally shifts things -- a new job I can really jump into and feel good about, someone special in my life, a big break somewhere else. On the rare occasion that those things seemed to come across my path, while they'd shimmer and glow, they'd always turn to dust before I was able to get my arms around them. Its painful enough to have happen once, it seems downright cruel when it happens over and over again. It takes its toll.

What's worse is that life seemed like it had been reduced to simply passing time -- waiting for something to happen... that and regretting the things that hadn't worked out. If you're waiting for something, that's probably the worst way to go about it -- resenting so many of the moments in my life because they're just reminders that I do not have what I want and may never get it. All the while life happens while I wait and stand on the sidelines. That pretty much sucks. Through it all, I've tried playing my part to change that, but so many times I'd just end up frustrated when it seemed like I wasn't getting anywhere. Kind of like a kid shouting to the Universe, "Are we there yet?" Yeah, sometimes I wanted to slap myself too.

So in the past few months I'd finally come to the decision to spend less time finding reasons to be dissatisfied and more time finding reasons to enjoy what's around me. I know its cliche and sounds Pollyanna but in practice its more difficult than it seems... its not enough to look around and say the words that I'm really happy. I've found that it requires me to be much more honest with myself and I'm realizing how often I was willing to tell myself that I felt fine when something was bothering me.

Part of the deal has been spending less time noticing things that would get me off-kilter, whether that's the news, politics, celebrities or the everyday bitchiness that still pops up. On top of it I've been making more of an effort to find the things in my life, past and present, that have gone right. Of course, the truth is that there's a shit load of them but I've spent so much time overlooking them.

On the blog front, that's meant that I've been purposely spending less time finding some of the things I used to share before and I'm left wondering what's left. On one level, my life isn't particularly newsworthy at the moment -- I've tried to disengage from much of the drama that was left and I've stepped back from trying to be witty or edgy. Like the world really needs another bitter queen, right? At the same time, I'm finding more of those moments of satisfaction that I had been missing before. Maybe its the equivalent of trying to master the nuances of vanilla ice cream but in the scheme of things, I guess its not a bad place to start. Oh and I still love beeves.

Decemberween Dinner

Last night I attended our annual Decemberween dinner with Adam, Dyanna, Kacy and the Greg, Miguel & Renee, Renee's rack, and Michael Bojangles. This year featured something new -- very spicy food at Thai Hut. Unfortunately, we didn't offend anyone at the restaurant, although there was a guy who looked like Santa who asked if Adam's brownies were hash brownies. Sadly, the answer was no.

Among the general festiveness of the occasion and the remarks that we really should get together more often, we also had a White Elephant gift exchange. While a pure White Elephant exchange, in my opinion, should consists of gifts that nobody wants -- after all, that's what the term White Elephant means -- our group of gifts was truly pitiful. It included the ugliest slippers known to mankind, a star-shaped cookie cutter filled with nasty dried gunk, a game involving shocking people with electric current ("Don't taze me, bro!") as well as candles that smelled like urinal cakes.

Apparently I was the only one who thought that the gifts should have SOME sort of appealing features. Kacy was the lucky recipient of my gift - a Christmas edition of the legendary Pop Art toaster. Yes, nothing says fun like toast with stuff written on it. Just because I know you were wondering, yes they do have plates that will make your toast say "Bite Me" as well as "boys r smelly." You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Really, the Pop Art toaster is the perfect gift for all occasions... ok, for maybe the one event where its not appropriate you can go with its sister product -- the 5 in 1 Tasty Baker.

How do I know that the Pop Art toaster is the perfect gift? Two words for you -- celebrity endorsements. Charlie Sheen loves his Pop Art toaster. Kevin Sorbo does too. I know what you're thinking, though -- both Charlie Sheen and Kevin Sorbo have kids. What about for us gays? Don't worry, Pop Art has you covered. Neil Patrick Harris loves his Pop Art toaster. If its good enough for Doogie Howser, M.D., you know its appropriate for any of your A-List gay functions. I'm telling you, 2008 is the year that the Pop Art toaster hits the White Party and becomes THE sought after item on the Circuit.

Dia del Pavo

While I jokingly refer to today as Dia del Pavo, or Turkey Day, even though its been a challenging I really do have a lot to be thankful for. A few special mentions from the Blogging world:

Adam: the one who nudged me into starting this whole blogging thing and who has managed to become one of my closest friends. Thanks for sharing sumptuous Indian food with me as well as engaging in interesting existential discussions.

Alex: another blogger turned good friend. Aside from always being interested in my life and wellbeing, as well as always finding interesting beeves that are worthy of my attention, I never have to get worked up about the state of the world or politics because he's there to do it for me.

The Daily Slab: for providing prime beef for my viewing pleasure.

Donnie: for his always entertaining Mug Shot Mondays.

And to all my readers, especially those of you who take the time to comment: you make this whole exercise much more interesting.