Dear Universe...

Dear Universe,

Hope you're doing well -- I just wanted to drop you a line. I'm sure you know my birthday is coming up. I've had quite a few people tell me that they get frustrated because I don't tell them what I'd like as a gift. FSM knows that I don't need any sweaters, candles, or bath products. As such, I figured I'd clear that up right now.

Ok, I know this one is straight and maybe 10 years too young for me, but you get the idea. You're the Universe and include everyone and everything in it, so just how hard can it be to find a little bit of something special for one of your favorites, right? Hell, if Sarah Palin can get $150k in clothes for spewing hatred and bile, certainly it's no effort to find me the husband of my dreams. I promise to feed him, keep him clean, and touch his bits n pieces, although not specifically in that order.

Oh yeah, and a new MacBook Pro. That would pretty much make for the best birthday ever.

Thanks and hope to see you at whatever sort of birthday celebration develops!

Love,

Marc