A...E...I...O...U...

I needed to pick up some continuing education hours to keep my homo-card current, so I rented My Fair Lady. I'm embarrased to admit that I had never seen it before, so I decided this would be a good time to finally sit down and watch it.

Audrey, Audrey, Audrey. How could anyone fail to love Audrey Hepburn? She's beautiful, elegant, charming... aSo far nd there's just something special about her. I just don't think there's anyone around today like Audrey.

Which brings me to another issue, My Fair Lady being a musical, and all. People just don't spontaneously break out into song and choreographed dancing nearly enough for my taste. I know I'd be more inclined to give more money to the homeless if they all suddenly broke out into "Wouldn't It Be Lovely?"

On to the substance of the story. I completely agree with Rex Harrison when he sang, "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" Of course, I figure that even if they tried, you're better off with the real thing. Aside from that, by the end of the movie I kept asking myself, "What the hell is she doing going back to him?" He treats her like an object the entire movie and she goes back. Mind boggling. Just awful. Then I realized that maybe he beat her and she has battered woman syndrome. She certainly seems to exhibit that abused wife sort of mentality... Anyway, I'm a sucker for a good love story and I love happy endings, but this has to be one the most horrible endings I have ever seen. I'd have a preferred a strange Japanese ending where Audrey ritually disembowels herself or a French one where they both become sad, lonely alcoholic, chain smokers. But this had to have been the least happy ending I could imagine.