Yoga Beef

Because I had started my latest project at AmEx last week and had spun for the Madonna Release Party on Monday, last night was the first time I was able to make it to yoga in a week-and-a-half. Before I headed back to AmEx, I had been going on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 4:30pm. So, I was heading back on a different day at a different time, so I knew things were going to be different... different instructor, different people, etc. I didn't know just how different it was going to be.

As I came into the studio and set down my mat, I looked around and noticed that there were many more men that I was used to. Usually the classes I had attended had been mainly women with a couple or three guys. Settling down on my mat, I tried to quiet my head and get into yoga mode... That's when THEY came in. A herd of beeves made their way into the class. I couldn't help but be stunned. They were the types of guys you'd be more accustomed to seeing banging out reps on their bench press in the gym, in such numbers that I haven't seen in a while as I haven't ventured in Pure Fitness in a while.

I don't know if Bikram Yoga Tempe had decided to declare Wednesday as Frat Night, or the nearest gym had shut down unexpectedly, but 5 or 6, youngish beefy guys decided to make last night their first class at Bikram Yoga. Perhaps it was the power of the full moon, or just the Universe answering my prayers, but whatever the cause, I was thanking the Powers That Be for this unexpected gift. For some reason, these guys decided to come their first class last night.

Throughout class, it is customary to focus on one point, in order to help with concentration and balance. Unfortunately, I was having trouble deciding on whether to focus on the thick, bleached blond on my right, the taller, a shade older but no less impressive beef on the left side of the class, the shirtless, less bulky but ripped to shreds specimen, or the guy with the deltoids bigger than my head in the wifebeater. Choices, choices, choices.

Ultimately, I had the very odd combinations of feeling incredibly turned on while also feeling incredibly amused as these beefy, impressive specimens struggled through their first class. As they huffed and puffed after the first couple of poses, I smiled inwardly knowing that while they may have single digit body fat and legs bigger than my waist, I can at least straighten my arms and hold them out in front of me through the entire pose. Of course, its not as if I'm that far removed from my first class, so my schadenfreude was shortlived and soon gave way to a COMPLETELY ALTRUISTIC desire to help each one of them with some special poses outside of class.

Namaste.