Under The Influence

Ok, imagine you're a celebrity. You've got lots of money and generally are under the impression that you can do pretty much whatever you want. That belief runs smack dab into reality when you are arrested for being intoxicated while driving. Suddenly, you're facing the prospect of some time in the pokey and having a charming photo on websites like this. While the prospect of having to spend time around normal people is frightening, what exactly do you do?

Case No. 1: George Michael.
Found slumped over behind the wheel of his car while the car itself was blocking traffic, the singer went to court yesterday. Accused of driving while under the influence of prescription drugs, went before the court and pled guilty. "I really have been very distressed by this whole thing. I am perfectly aware that I did something very wrong and got into my car when I was unfit to drive," he said. "I was not in my normal physical state and I'm perfectly prepared to accept the correct punishment for that and I would have accepted it a long time ago."

Case No. 2: Paris Hilton.
Sentenced last Friday for she was pulled over driving at 70 mph without her headlights on in a 35 mph zone, driving on a suspended license and violating her probation by failing to enroll in a court-ordered alcohol education program within 21 days of her January probation. The judge sentenced her to 45 days in jail. She is now asking supporters to sign a petition requesting that Governor Schwarzenegger pardon her, as the whole incident is really her publicist's fault. "I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted and I don't deserve this," Hilton explained to reporters.

According to the LA Times, the petition begs for a pardon for Hilton because she provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives." Apparently, our friends and Ginch Gonch models, Ethan Reynolds and Benjamin Bradley are among those who can't live without the "beauty and excitement" of Paris Hilton, as the two have already begun selling their own "Free Paris" t-shirts. Personally, I'm old school and prefer the "Free Winona" t-shirts that came out a few years ago after our favorite Girl Interrupted was caught shoplifting.

I suppose I could rant about the absurdity of it all, or criticize Ethan and Ben for their stand -- apparently I'd have to get in line as the comments to their entry have been almost uniformly negative. At the same time, I know there are times I've driven when I shouldn't have and I've had friends who've been popped with some DUIs as well. The moral of this story, I suppose is that our actions have consequences and not all of us have charming male models selling t-shirts on our behalf when its time for us to deal with those consequences.