YAY BEEF!

There are some who would say that beeves is all about ego and vanity, steroids and unsafe sex. Beeves is just for looks, right? Not true! I've been saying for ages that beef always saves the day... and this proves it.

A German man drove his car into a 6-foot deep ditch and 10 beeves came to the rescue. Fortunately, the crash occurred near their gym and the beeves halted their training to help out. Working together, the beeves were able to pull the car out of the ditch in just a few short minutes, saving the day.

Now all I need is for a group of beeves to come save my day. I'd reward them properly, I would.

Haitus

Relax, not blogging or beef haitus. One of the things I've tried to do in the past few years of my life has been to weed out the stuff that drives me crazy -- that's included a number of people, living situations, jobs, stuff like that. By and large, its been a good thing -- I don't miss the drama. Yesterday I took the next step and decided I would not read the news.

Imagine -- large, multinational organizations that scour the globe to find things in order to convince you that the world is a fucked up place. Do I really need to know that Britney was spotted in Mexico humping a chihuahua? Not at all. Do I really need to know the Grand Wizard of Transylvania declared jihad on people named Clyde? Absolutely not. Is it crucial for me to hear which jabs Hillary and Obama have launched at each other yesterday? Ehh, it might be amuzing, but crucial? Nope. By and large, these things have absolutely no impact on my life. Even most of the stuff that's happening in town, like the wild dingoes eating babies, just doesn't concern me. In fact, by and large, my life works pretty darn well.

So, after 24 hours or so, how is it going? Truth be told, its been a challenge -- I don't think I realized just how much time I spent on news related stuff -- not just the news but people's reactions to and opinions about the news... and people's opinions about people's opinions... etc. I still find myself habitually about to check in with the latest goings on and opinions and then I stop myself. But overall, its been a great experience -- many fewer voices shouting at me that life is somehow broken.

There's still a little part of me that whispers, "You need to be informed... its selfish to not know what's going on around you." Selfish? You're goddamn right.

Duh

I recently ran across this article about how researchers have determined that consumerism and low self esteem are linked. The big shocker is that there's a causal link between the two -- low self esteem leads to consumerism... and consumerism also feeds back into low self esteem. Just brilliant. I think somebody better write a book about that because America needs to know.

Oh boy, I missed my calling. Some people have the gift of stating the obvious and turning it into a book, article, TV career or some such. I just don't get it... how the hell do you get the idea to turn the obvious and mundane into a product?

Breaking News: Democrat Shows Spine!

While I venture into the political realm occasionally on this blog, figuring there are many other places for people to read about politics, every once in a while something happens that makes me speak up. Recently, news outlets had reported that the Senate had reached a deal in revising FISA that would immunize telecom providers for turning over customer information to the government without a court order. Another disappointing instance of Congress abdicating its responsibilities to uphold the Constitution...

...and then something magical happened. Sen. Chris Dodd, a Connecticut Democrat announced that he would place a "hold" on the bill, effectively killing it. Holy crap! On his website, Dodd explains, "I have decided to place a 'hold' on the latest FISA bill that would have included amnesty for telecommunications companies that enabled the President's assault on the Constitution by illegally providing personal information on their customers without judicial authorization."

This is huge. We've heard a lot of talk from Democrats about being willing to stand up to Bush but we've seen little progress. Leading Presidential candidates have talked about their "experience" or "better judgment" that makes them suited for election, but none of them has done much besides talk. Yes, Dodd is running for the Presidency, perhaps its nothing more than politics and yet, at the end of the day, someone has finally done what has needed to be done for the good of this country. We need more leadership like this, whether it comes from Dodd or any of the other candidates, along with Congress in general. Well done.

A Moment of Silence

I've tried to stay out of the 2008 Presidential race at this point -- there's way too much time and a lot can happen before the election. I couldn't skip this tidbit of news though -- a spokesperson for former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has announced that Newt will not run for the Presidency, despite a nation yearning for his leadership. (Bwahahahahahaha!) “It is legally impermissible for him to continue on as chairman of American Solutions (for Winning the Future) and to explore a campaign for president,” explained his spokesman. In other words, Gingrich is unwilling to give up his lucrative speaking gigs in order to run for President. Please, a moment of silence for the campaign that wasn't for Newt Gingrich - the man who led the Impeachment of Bill Clinton while he was having an extramarital affair at the time. While I personally hope Obama pulls the upset for the Democratic nomination, it almost would have been worth it to see Hillary win in order to face Gingrich. I'm thinking jello wrestling to the death. Yeah, I'd have paid to see that.

More On Folsom

The Catholic League has jumped in on the whole Folsom Street Fair debate, posting a variety of "extremely graphic" photos from the 2006 Fair:







Boy, San Francisco sure looks different than the last time I was there... A nyway, they're right, I find these to be shocking and offensive. The madness has to stop.

You S.L.U.T.!

I know a SLUT when I see one and apparently, the residents of Seattle do too. A new trolley line is set to roll through the streets of the South Lake Union neighborhood. Officially its called the "South Lake Union Streetcar" but residents aren't buying it. If it looks like a SLUT and goes up and down the streets like a SLUT, its a SLUT - the "South Lake Union Trolley".

"We're welcoming the SLUT into the neighborhood," a local barista exclaimed.

While officials maintain that the "streetcar" was never intended to be called a "trolley" -- "trolley seemed vintage, whereas streetcar sounded more modern," explained an official. That isn't stopping residents from calling out their new SLUT.

"I especially like the dust and the big holes in the ground," a local resident said. "But we can't wait to have the SLUT."

God on Trial

Ah, Nebraska. One of their State Senator has recently sued God in state court for acts of terrorism and natural disasters. He seeks to enjoin God from any further detrimental acts. Oddly enough, this isn't the first time someone has tried to sue the supernatural -- I remember reading a case where a plaintiff tried to sue the Devil - United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan And His Staff, 54 F.R.D. 282, (W.D.Penn. 1971). Sadly, in this case the court never reached the merits of the claim. Last year in Italy, a man sued a priest to prove the existence of Christ. That doesn't quite have the zing of suing a deity or fallen angel.

Death By Gaming

Like millions of online gamers out there, I'll admit that I'm a big geek at heart. Apparently my level of geekdom does not approach championship status. No, that sort of dedication is demonstrated by a South Korean man who recently died in an Internet cafe after playing for three days straight. "We presume the cause of death was heart failure stemming from exhaustion," a police official told the Reuters news agency. Now that's dedication.

The BBC reports that there are professional gamers in South Korea -- "Professional gamers there attract huge sums in sponsorship and can make more than $100,000 a year." Sadly, I fear I do not have the level of commitment it takes to be a professional gamer. I've only gone for a few hours straight. I usually stop to eat. I enjoy sleeping and other activities. I even have friends and interests aside from gaming. Sigh. Yet another area where I just don't have what it takes to succeed.

For Donnie...

...and his "not gay" Senator.


Just an aside -- John Tartaglia, who played Rod (the dark haired actor) in the Original Broadway Cast of Avenue Q is WAY hot... and openly gay, to boot (unlike his character). Great to see an out actor doing so well, though I don't know if Broadway is as closeted as Hollywood... I'd expect not.

Will You Be My Brother?

You've heard the arguments from conservatives -- "Save traditional marriage," they scream. "Its all about the children!"

Or is it? Historians have been unearthing evidence that same sex relationships have been accepted by both the Church and State in western societies in times past. “Western family structures have been much more varied than many people today seem to realize and Western legal systems have in the past made provisions for a variety of household structures,” writes Allan Tulchin, a professor at Shippensburg University.

He has uncovered legal contracts called an "affrèrement," roughly translated as brotherment. The contracts functioned like a marriage contract, sworn before a notary and witnesses and joined the property of the "brothers." While the contracts may have been used between members of the same family in some cases, his research suggests that romantic relationships also were accepted.

While Tulchin's work seems to focus on the state's acceptance of these contracts, the late John Boswell's book, Same Sex Unions in Medieval Europe, suggests that the medieval Catholic Church also recognized these "brotherment" relationships. While critics counter with the equivalent of, "they're not gay, they're just really good friends," the bigger point is that the idea that western society has always been defined by one man, one woman, a litter of kids and a dog is pure fiction. Tulchin sums it up by explaining, "I suspect that some of these relationships were sexual, while others may not have been. It is impossible to prove either way and probably also somewhat irrelevant to understanding their way of thinking. They loved each other, and the community accepted that."

Nature abounds with any number of different groupings. From hives, packs and schools to animals that couple with a partner for life. There are animals that change sexes as well as gay animals. Its time that we recognize that humans are no different.

And for the record, I'd like a big, hunky "brother" who looks hot in tight leather shorts and knows how to use his "sword," kinda like the one pictured above. (Thanks to The Daily Slab [NSFW!] for the pic!)

More Beef Discrimination

This just in from Sweden -- Beef talks to woman, bad things ensue. The woman happened to be a police office and she decided that the beef was just too big to be all natural and decided to haul him into the police station. "Despite [his] assurances that he didn't use steroids, she forced him to go to the police station and give a urine test. In her report, the officer said he had 'unusually large muscles, particularly large arm muscles, which are a sign of steroid use.'"

Blatant beef discrimination. The test was negative -- just like our beef said it would be. He filed a complaint against the officer but the prosecutors decided not to pursue it. A miscarriage of justice! This blatant and senseless beef discrimination must stop.

Who Would Jesus Execute?

I can't help it, I got a kick out of this article on MSNBC tonight -- this month Texas should execute its 400th prisoner since the Supreme Court lifted a ban on capital punishment in 1982. W and Alberto would be proud, I'm sure. The best part of the article is how the state's evangelical population encourages it:

“A lot of evangelical Protestants not only believe that capital punishment is permissible but that it is demanded by God. And they see sanction for that in the Old Testament especially,” said Matthew Wilson, a political scientist at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.

Ah yes, somewhere Jesus is looking down on Texas and smiling. I can just hear him now: "Kill the bastards! All of them! Crucify them!"

Yeah, that sounds like something Jesus would say. I wonder how that would sound in Aramaic. Mel Gibson probably knows.

Editing Wikipedia

One of the best features of the web, in my opinion, has been Wikipedia. A free, non-profit repository of information that's editable by the public -- that's revolutionary. It allows access to information to anyone with access to the Web, which is quite a powerful thing.

Wired has just published an article about a Cal Tech grad student who has been trying to track anonymous changes -- "Wikipedia Scanner -- the brainchild of Cal Tech computation and neural-systems graduate student Virgil Griffith -- offers users a searchable database that ties millions of anonymous Wikipedia edits to organizations where those edits apparently originated, by cross-referencing the edits with data on who owns the associated block of internet IP addresses."

This is brilliant! An example: " [Someone at] Voting-machine company Diebold ... apparently deleting long paragraphs detailing the security industry's concerns over the integrity of their voting machines, and information about the company's CEO's fund-raising for President Bush."

This is great because it adds some accountability and makes it more difficult to control the flow of information without having people know that you're trying to do it. Well done!

Shifts

I, as much as anyone else, can get caught up with the way things appear right now. Life isn't exactly the way we want it, so everything's in the shitter, right? Truth be told, I've felt like things are really moving in the right direction, whether its in world in general or in my own life. Sometimes its hard to see that because some of the big things we focus on seem fixed while underneath the surface is where the shifting and changing occurs.

Case in point, a couple of days ago, the LA Times ran an article about gay high school and college athletes coming out and being willing to live their lives in the open. Certainly these young men and women face challenges -- the article mentions a high school football player who was ostracized after he came out and ended up changing schools -- and yet by daring to be themselves at a formative time for themselves and those around them, they are sowing the seeds for fundamental change.

We tend to get stuck on the questions of marriage vs. civil unions and DOMA, Don't Ask Don't Tell and ENDA, the real progress is happening beneath the surface every day with people having the courage to live their lives in the open. Perhaps the changes we seek aren't happening as quickly as we might like but they're happening and no legislative act, ballot initiative or court ruling will be able to stop them. Sometimes its hard to keep that in mind but all you need to do to remind yourself is take a moment and look beneath the surface.

For Whom The Cat Tolls

Unless you've been living in a cardboard box recently, I'm sure you're familiar with the whole LOLCats phenomenon. Today's article in CNN left me inspired to create my own. Apparently Oscar the cat knows when you're gonna die! Oscar lives in a Providence nursing home and curls up next to patients who are close to death. In fact, a visit from Oscar means that you have less than four hours left to live. Personally, I think that's much better than a stupid picture of a cat in a refrigerator.

Some Things Are Universal

Close your eyes and picture this -- you're an organization trying to good. How about donating laptops to a primary school in Nigeria. Splendid. Give these underprivileged kids a chance to learn and explore the joys of the Internet. Apparently these Nigerian school kids are using their laptops as God intended... to view porn. According to the Nigerian News Agency, "Efforts to promote learning with laptops in a primary school in Abuja have gone awry as the pupils freely browse adult sites with explicit sexual materials."

Sounds like the kids are have learned the basics very quickly.

Where's An Ark When You Need One?

The tiki god is angry again. Last time, in a fit of liberal pique, the tiki god had caused Hurricane Katrina in order to punish America for its mistreatment of black Americans. This time, the tiki god has gone back to his old conservative ways and caused some floods in the UK in order to punish Her Majesty's subjects for their decadent ways.

Rev. Jerry Falwell... er, I mean, Rev. Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle, explained that the tiki god is angry... VERY ANGRY:

"In the Bible, institutional power is referred to as 'the beast', which sets itself up to control people and their morals. Our government has been playing the role of God in saying that people are free to act as they want."

Free will? As if. TIKI GOD MUST BE OBEYED! TIKI GOD SMASH!

Of course, it all gets back to The Gays: "The sexual orientation regulations [which give greater rights to gays] are part of a general scene of permissiveness. We are in a situation where we are liable for God's judgment, which is intended to call us to repentance."

TIKI GOD HATE DISCO DANCING AND METROSEXUALS!

Plans to appease the tiki god by throwing several virgins into the fires of the holy volcano are currently in the works.

'The Gays' Made Me Flunk The Bar!

The Gays are at it again... the scene? Massachusetts. In particular, the Bar Exam, where The Gays caused Stephen Dunne to fail the bar exam. Sinister, aren't we? Dunne missed the minimum passing score of 270 by less than 2 points -- scoring 268.866. So just how did The Gays commit their latest dastardly deed? Was it the swarm of drag queens heckling him during the exam? Gay mafiosos who secretly spritzed his answers with Abercrombie cologne? The Queer Eye guys refused to give him his makeover prior to the exam? No, the culprit is gay marriage. Not only is it destroying heterosexual marriage, but its stopping good Christians from being lawyers, too.

So I know what you're thinking... if some homosexuals were having one of our perverted marriage ceremonies in the middle of the hall where the bar exam was being conducted, I can see where that might be a distraction. I mean, who has time to wait in the buffet line and finish all the questions, right? There's your two points right there. But for those couple of wine spritzers and this guy would have sailed through.

Ok, here's the kicker. There wasn't actually a gay marriage going on during the middle exam. Rather, there was a question on the exam about gay marriage... in Massachusetts... where gay marriage is legal. Boy, I would have never have seen that one coming. According to Dunne, the question required him to "affirmatively accept, support and promote homosexual marriage and homosexual parenting." Yes, I can picture the question now:

"Do you affirmatively accept, support and promote homosexual marriage and parenting?"

Yes, I remember plenty of questions like that on the Bar.

Dunne alleges that the Bar Examiners violated his free exercise of religion, along with several other novel claims. Fortunately for straight America, Mr. Dunne has figured out our dastardly plot... and we would have gotten away with it too... if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

(via Pam's House Blend)

Dalton In Trouble Again...

For those of you who have a prison fetish, Mark Dalton is the guy for you. I've written about Dalton's previous problems with the law... from what I've read, he's already had domestic violence issues as well as a drug arrest. One would hope that he had learned his lesson, but apparently not. According to Jason Curious (NSFW!), Dalton was arrested on May 31st for another domestic violence altercation, which also violated his parole. Its unclear whether any charges will be filed, but currently Dalton is still a guest of Denton County. I don't know whether its the 'roids or just heterosexual stupidity, but let's hope he manages to get his life turned around.

Maybe its just poor lighting, but the man is what, 26 or 27 and looks much older. Sad.


Mugshot courtesy of GayPornBlog. (NSFW)

via Towleroad.