BALLS!

For those of you who think that a little teabagging might be hazardous to your health, turns out you might be right. Well, at least it is if you're talking about blowfish testicles. The AP is reporting that seven people were sickened with blowfish poison when an unlicensed chef prepared the dish. It just goes to show, be very choosy about the balls you put in your mouth. Personally, I prefer balls that aren't likely to cause paralysis.

Extra Secret Sauce, Please!

Okay, there's a glut of bareback films out there with titles like, Dude, Swap my Cum, My Guy Creampie and Sperm Attack. If you hadn't guessed, these videos tend to be a little... base. What about those with a more... refined attitude toward semen?

Today you're in luck because now there's Natural Harvest - A collection of semen-based recipes. File this under, "I shit you not." With recipes like, Creamy Cum Crepes and Tuna Sashimi with Dipping Sauce, and the Almost White Russian, along with a bevy of colorful photos of the prepared dinners as well as nutritional information, Natural Harvest is perfect for those out there with a discriminating pallet. The author has also noted in the recipes when ingredients can be omitted in order to bring out the flavor of the semen.

So, when you can't decide between a bareback orgy and a Pampered Chef party, there's no need to compromise. Natural Harvest is here to help.

Cooking for Heroin Addicts

Breakfast time for a heroin addict can be challenging. If, perchance, the body makes a point that it needs food rather than more drugs, what exactly does one do to satisfy this essential human need? With recipes and all the accessories one normally needs -- like a kitchen, stove, cookware, etc., cooking can have a countless number of complications and pitfalls. What's a junkie supposed to do if he's really jonesing for some pancakes?

Fortunately, I was recently directed to a website that is geared to the junkie audience and understands the modalities one would need for a successful breakfast. Instead of some obscure, confusing recipe to follow, you get a step by step visual guide to follow that will help you make perfect flapjacks every time. The only thing you're going to have to learn on your own? Portion control.


(Thanks to Andrew Sullivan for pointing me in the right direction!)

Cream of Wheat

I don't know why and I don't know what it means but last night I dreamt of Cream of Wheat. It was never the type of thing I was thrilled about eating when I was younger -- growing up I was never much of a breakfast person, but I vividly remember Cream of Wheat starring prominently in the dream. Not much more than that. Just Cream of Wheat.