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Second, I'll readily agree that there was some defensiveness there... as one of my friends reminded me, you never really get to know someone until you've been around them for a while. Especially in the dating context, I think the natural instinct is to show your best face and its also difficult to seperate your expectations of someone from who they actually are. As I had mentioned before, I've developed the belief that things happened for a reason. So, after having my heart stomped on a few times, I decided to take a relationship break and take a look at why I was getting involved with guys that weren't particularly good for me.
Ultimately, I came to the realization that I wasn't going into these relationships with a really solid foundation. As my friend also wisely reminded, you have to know what you bring to the table. I can honestly say that its taken me a while to really figure that out... two and a half years in a Masters of Counseling program and more hours than I can count of looking in the dark nooks & crannies of my heart and soul. That's not to say that I'm done with all the areas that need some growth, but I'm in a heck of a lot better place than I was.
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