Wednesday, May 25, 2005

On Broken Hearts...

I wanted to address a couple of Jim's comments before I move forward -- first, when I say that I got my ass kicked, I mean that things were emotionally turbulent for me. I didn't mean to imply that anyone I've dated has ever been abusive toward me -- either physically or emotionally.

Second, I'll readily agree that there was some defensiveness there... as one of my friends reminded me, you never really get to know someone until you've been around them for a while. Especially in the dating context, I think the natural instinct is to show your best face and its also difficult to seperate your expectations of someone from who they actually are. As I had mentioned before, I've developed the belief that things happened for a reason. So, after having my heart stomped on a few times, I decided to take a relationship break and take a look at why I was getting involved with guys that weren't particularly good for me.

Ultimately, I came to the realization that I wasn't going into these relationships with a really solid foundation. As my friend also wisely reminded, you have to know what you bring to the table. I can honestly say that its taken me a while to really figure that out... two and a half years in a Masters of Counseling program and more hours than I can count of looking in the dark nooks & crannies of my heart and soul. That's not to say that I'm done with all the areas that need some growth, but I'm in a heck of a lot better place than I was.


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