Stone

This morning has been a struggle to get access to some applications at work that I need in order to get things done. Anyway, during the downtime, I was talking to Jimmy (of the now-defunct Good Morning America 23), who has become one of my main AIM confidants. Jimmy's in London these days, going to school to become a nurse. Toward the end of our conversation this morning, we ended up on the subject of love and relationships. He's away from his bf for the next three years while he's in school and I'm seemingly doomed to love people I can't have. Love's a wonderful thing, we both agree. But the question is, if its something you've gotten to taste but can't have, would you be better off if you simply had never known what it felt like?

So far my experiences with love have been limited to those sudden moments where he suddenly looks at you in a way you weren't expecting and his smile manages to make your heart sing out... but as wonderful as those moments are, just as quickly they're gone and when you reach out to touch it, you're grasping at air. Most of the time the best you can do is move forward with your everyday life and try not to notice the stone in your heart. Truth be told, I've gotten much better at that... times where I can almost forget. I'd still have to agree with Jimmy, though, I can't help but think that maybe I'd be better off if I didn't know it until I could have it.

"Don't follow the lights... Or hobbits go down to join the dead ones, and light little candles of their own..."