Crossroads

For those of you who haven't kept up with this blog over time, one of my major interests is dance music, which has culminated (at this point) with me DJing at a club here in town. DJing was never one of my dreams or anything -- rather, I ended up finding music I really fell in love with and cared about. In so many ways, I feel like the music I play is a reflection of me as a person.

The Phoenix gay scene is really in a transition -- the cohort I started going out with has really turned to other things, leaving the younger generation as the main audience at my bar. In my time as resident at the club, its become very apparent that my musical tastes (which tend toward the groovy/house/tribal/circuit with a little trance thrown in once in a blue moon) are a good ways away from the younger crowd, which has grown up with the heavily hip-hop/R&B influenced Top-40 out there. That ain't my bag, baby. I've done my best to walk the line as best I can, but at the end of the day, I end up playing what I love and what is in my heart.

Its finally come to a point where something needs to change. I had a meeting with the bar owner last night -- he can't ignore who the crowd is or what they want. He'd like me to stay and move in the direction that would give the crowd what they want. I've enjoyed being there and I think in the time I've been there, I've demonstrated that I have a lot of talent and I can be successful at this and I have people out there who really appreciate what I do. But the question arises: At what cost? I can't escape the reality that the majority of those who are coming out really don't want to hear what I want to put out there. Would it be worth it to try to stay and try to find new parts of this that I could perhaps learn to appreciate and maybe to enjoy and end up being more successful? If I leave, aren't I giving up the chance to try to connect with a different audience? Would any success really matter if I'm turning away from what I loved about DJing in the first place? Do I walk away? What if it means I end up giving up DJing altogether? Am I able to trust that perhaps this is just an opportunity to find a place that would be a better fit for me instead of trying to fit my square peg into the round hole?

Yogi Berra once said, "When you come to the fork in the road, take it." But which road should I go? I think I know what I need to do, but I'm always interested in other perspectives.