'The Gays' Made Me Flunk The Bar!

The Gays are at it again... the scene? Massachusetts. In particular, the Bar Exam, where The Gays caused Stephen Dunne to fail the bar exam. Sinister, aren't we? Dunne missed the minimum passing score of 270 by less than 2 points -- scoring 268.866. So just how did The Gays commit their latest dastardly deed? Was it the swarm of drag queens heckling him during the exam? Gay mafiosos who secretly spritzed his answers with Abercrombie cologne? The Queer Eye guys refused to give him his makeover prior to the exam? No, the culprit is gay marriage. Not only is it destroying heterosexual marriage, but its stopping good Christians from being lawyers, too.

So I know what you're thinking... if some homosexuals were having one of our perverted marriage ceremonies in the middle of the hall where the bar exam was being conducted, I can see where that might be a distraction. I mean, who has time to wait in the buffet line and finish all the questions, right? There's your two points right there. But for those couple of wine spritzers and this guy would have sailed through.

Ok, here's the kicker. There wasn't actually a gay marriage going on during the middle exam. Rather, there was a question on the exam about gay marriage... in Massachusetts... where gay marriage is legal. Boy, I would have never have seen that one coming. According to Dunne, the question required him to "affirmatively accept, support and promote homosexual marriage and homosexual parenting." Yes, I can picture the question now:

"Do you affirmatively accept, support and promote homosexual marriage and parenting?"

Yes, I remember plenty of questions like that on the Bar.

Dunne alleges that the Bar Examiners violated his free exercise of religion, along with several other novel claims. Fortunately for straight America, Mr. Dunne has figured out our dastardly plot... and we would have gotten away with it too... if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

(via Pam's House Blend)