Friday, December 31, 2004

Looking Back, Moving Forward

Nothing quite like the last few hours in the year to help you put this past year in perspective. To be honest, this has been a challenging year for me -- nothing has turned out the way I would have hoped. As a matter of fact, I really would have liked to head to LA for New Years' Eve (and see Mr. LA in the process). And with everything else in my life, it seems like the Universe has been doing its all to keep me right here right now. Since I'm here, I might as well take the hint and look at where I was last year.

This time last year I had just graduated and was getting ready to sell my condo while I drove out to LA for NYE. I was hoping that my alcoholic, tweaker roommate would be moving out while I was gone, which he had promised to do.

The year started off on a bad note as my car broke down while I was in LA. My alcoholic, tweaker roommate (I didn't know he was a tweaker until the week my condo was supposed to close) refused to leave. Fortunately, I was able to get that all resolved and the condo sold. I moved back in with my family with the expectation that I would stay there for a few months while I found a full-time job in the SoCal area. Of course, trying to deal with living with my parents again is a full-time job in and of itself.

A few months turned into a year while my social life became virtually nonexistent. For the first time in my life, I had wanted to be just about any place other than where I was. I was not pleased.

Finally, I decided to try to make the best of things here in Phoenix -- I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't rather be moving on, especially after the time and effort I spent trying to prepare myself to leave, but it could be worse -- I could be living in Alabama. Finally, it looks like I should be getting a new job soon -- maybe not my dream job, but at least something I should be able to deal with for a while. At least, I feel like my life is finally moving forward in tangible ways, which is a hell of a lot more than I've had in a while. I'm certainly not where I want to be, but at least it seems like the momentum is finally on my side.

In short, I may not be in LA getting ready to enjoy thousands of shirtless guys and Mr. LA, but truth be told, I know I'm in a much better position than I was last year. It feels like I'm finally ready for this to be the year where my life starts becoming more what I want it to be.

I liked Jim's idea of leaving New Years' wishes to everyone, but I'm sure not smart enough to know what I need, let alone to know what everyone else needs. So, I'll leave you all with this: May this New Year be better than last year and may we all find ways to enjoy it.


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