Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Krak(en) is Whack!

After eating WAY too much incredible Indian food at Royal Taj, Adam and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest. Now frequent readers will note that since last year's Tiki Oasis experience, I've had somewhat a penchant for pirates... well, hot ones, at least. (An aside, if you get a chance to catch Pirates of the Great Salt Lake at a film festival near you, its quite a funny, charming lil movie. I can't wait until it finally comes out on DVD...) Anyway, the first one was campy and fun so why not give the second one a go, right? Well, I had read mixed reviews but I'm never one to really pay too much head.

Unfortunately, they were right -- this movie is a big mess. Now, not King Kong bad, but a big mess. Let's get one thing out of the way: I LOVE KEIRA KNIGHTLY. Not in a sexual way, of course, but she's beautiful, always elegant and charming, and I loved her in Love, Actually. Of course, everyone knows about Johnny Depp gaying it up and shocking the Disney executives in the first movie. *yawn* I'm over it already. Orlando Bloom? Makes a good elf. Aside from that, I've never much cared for him.

So, in addition to the standards, throw in the obligatory cannibal tribe (I mean, all native tribes back then are backward cannibals, right?) and Miss Cleo, along with Jack Davenport from the BBC's Coupling making a reprise from the first movie, you basically have the main pieces for a tedious 2 and a half hour saga about trying to steal Davy Jones's heart. (Monkees flashback! I wanted to steal Davy Jones's heart too!)

The most distressing thing is that they were absolutely SHAMELESS in setting up the next movie. I didn't like it when they did it in Back to the Future: 2 and I liked it even less this time. What's worse is that I'll most likely end up going to see the next movie just to see what happens. Curse them.

piratepornI still like pirates. Well, maybe not the ones with icky bad teeth - those seemed to dominate this movie - but I love me some really hot pirates. They should make more movies about hot pirates. I'd gladly pay $9 to watch that.


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