Monday, June 16, 2008


So it's almost 10pm on June 16, 2008. Gays began marrying at 5:01pm in California, not long after the California Supreme Court's ruling that struck down the state's ban on gay marriage. God's retribution was swift and sure, as several large meteors devastated the Golden State, wiping out most of the state's large population centers. To make sure He wasn't missing anyone, the Divine mutated most of the state's agriculture to turn the rest of the population into monstrous, flesh eating zombies. The Rev. Fred Phelps, of Westboro Baptist Church, finally having been vindicated after many long years of being called a hate-crazed lunatic, issued a statement: "I told you so. We were right about the gays, now maybe you'll believe me when I tell you that God hates shrimp."

Wait a second... I guess that didn't happen -- it was an odd amalgamation of the plots of Deep Impact and The Happening ("oh. my. god. we're. all. going. to. die. *yawn*") that came in a dream I had during a nap I took earlier. Heh. The funny thing is that the picture of Meteor Crater comes from a funky creation science website that strives to help push creationism into public schools. This is, of course, preposterous, as we all know that the Earth and all of creation was touched by the FSM's noodly appendage. When will these heathens see the Divine noodly goodness of the FSM? Fortunately, the FSM is much more merciful than some of the other false gods out there.

Labels: , , , , , ,


Post a Comment

<< Home