No Ex-Gay Penguins

For those of you who haven't been keeping up on this, a German zoo had discovered that three of its five pairs of penguins were gay. Because penguins are an endangered species, the zoo decided to try to entice the male penguins to breed by introducing several new female penguins.

Well, this "conversion therapy," which has been attempted with other penguins unsuccessfully, has officially been declared a failure. Zoo Director Heike Kueck said, "The relationships were apparently too strong."

Zoo officials have also confirmed that the couples have been observed guarding rocks in their caves, as if they were eggs. There is speculation that the couples may be talking with some lesbian penguins about artificial insemination so that they can start little penguin families of their own.