July and August 09 Top 10 Trance Picks

I love me some trance and progressive house, here's my top 10 picks for July & August.

July and August 09 Top House Picks

My top pics are back -- this time you can listen to them right from the player. Lots of good stuff for the ears and dancefloor.

Neutrality

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Neutral Man's Burden
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Mark Sanford

I love Stephen Colbert. He manages to get to the heart of things with ease.

Tuesday Morning

Thunder splits the sky
Nature in its majesty
Life in the desert

True.

(Thanks to The Daily Slab.)

Whoa! Big Cats on Hallucinogens!

Jaguar eating ayahausca
Uploaded by ayadocs

In a related story, Kellog's has decided to replace Tony the Tiger as the Frosted Flakes mascot of "They're GRRRRREAT!" fame after photos showing him tripping out after eating ayahausca.

Up In Smoke?

I'm not sure how many of you have been keeping track of this, but the latest scandal regards photos published of Michael Phelps sparking it up at a party at the University of South Carolina. There was a resulting furor that the 23-year old Phelps is acting, well, like a 23 year old. Some have opined that this is just horrible and shocking and that this somehow erases all of Phelps's accomplishments and spells the end of his career. Phelps recently released a statement acknowledging the truth of the photo and expressing his regret over his "bad judgment" and "regrettable" behavior and swears never to do it again. Mea culpa, mea culpa.

How insane is this? Phelps should have released a statement explaining that all he does is eat, sleep and swim and if he decides he wants to spark up a bowl and act like a normal college-aged student, then congratulations for trying to have some semblance of a normal life. Yes, it sounds like he was a bit out of control but that's what happens when you spend your life trying to be superhuman and miss all the things that make life enjoyable. These outraged moralizers need to get a life and mind their own damn business.

Milestones

This is a bit of a milestone here at echeblog -- my 1000th entry. I thought about commemorating it right after the Inauguration or with a beef haiku... but neither of those felt right. After all, above anything else, this blog is about ME. It's my story, it's a reflection of me, not of beeves, of politics or celebrities or even of music. I wanted to use this moment to do something special. I thought about it for a few days and the idea really crystalized this afternoon. I had been trying to figure out how to pull it off, and then circumstance intervened. I received this comment a few minutes ago that was just perfect:

"Your blog is absolutely pointless. Have you realized that you live a trite and meaningless life, or has the fact continued to evade your conscious mind? What a waste of natural resources your (as well as you family's I presume) existence represents. Do the world a favor and bring an abrupt cessation to your existence."

So, you might think to yourself, "That's horrible!" or "What a dick!" or "Hey, he's right!" At earlier parts in my life, maybe I would have felt hurt, angry, annoyed or maybe defensive... deep down, I might have even agreed. What struck me was that I didn't feel any of these things. Rather, I found myself to be incredibly amused... Amused because for the first time in my life, I have the deep knowingness that this comment is the most absurd thing someone could say about me or anything I do. Someone could tell me that I have fifteen heads, purple scales and legs made of cotton candy and it would STILL make more sense than that.

I'll be honest here, I've spent plenty of time questioning my own value, whether it's because I haven't found the success I want, or look the way I'd like to, or manifested the stuff and relationships I've always wanted... and through the whole process, I kept wondering why it seemed like other people got to determine what I was worth and how valuable my ideas, work, music and LIFE were. How 'come all these other people get to set the hoops through which I must jump?

Finally, in the past few days, it finally hit me: Your opinions don't mean zip. I mean that in the most loving way. I'm the one who gets to choose, I'm the one who decides how I feel. Maybe I didn't see it before, but I do now and that's a wonderful thing. I couldn't think of a better use of an important milestone. Even more importantly, it's just the beginning -- I'm only just letting it sink in just how many amazing things about myself are there, how much I've grown and achieved and what mind blowing things are yet to come. I really am doing remarkably well. And so are you.

Believe It!

The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl! It's just amazing what can happen when you give yourself a chance and start to believe... What an amazing reminder that the pieces can all fall into place when you let them.

Roots Before Branches

"So many things to do and say, but I can't seem to find my way... but I wanna know how..."

I don't know how many of you have been following my blog for any length of time. Among the beef haikus, music reviews and snarky observations, I suppose if anything sets it apart from any other blog out there it's because it's been my story. Mainly, it's been a story of searching and trying to find a place in this world. I don't know that I've let too much of that story make it out... part of it is just a natural guardedness, whether that's from growing up gay in a straight world, life as a Scorpio, and I'm sure there are other factors thrown in there as well. Part of it, however, has been my own self-judgment... a self-defeating perfectionism that tells me that my story isn't worth telling until I've found all the things I've been looking for. Well, let me tell you how well THAT'S going.

"I know I'm meant for something else, but first I gotta find myself...but I don't know how..."

I suppose it hasn't been until recently that I started noticing just how pervasive it was... that tiny habit of telling myself that I've got to have it all figured out before it's all worth telling. That little lie that nobody cares unless you have all the answers. The only thing is that that little lie becomes a real big lie when you tell it over and over again. What I never really saw is that it just gets reflected back at me all those times I've felt like I don't get noticed or appreciated or valued. It's always been easier to blame everyone else and blame myself for not being good enough, rather than set it all down and be willing to see myself in a different way.

"Oh, why do I reach for the stars when I don't have wings to carry me that far?"

I've asked myself that question a million times. One of the best things about the past several years is that I've taken the time to really devote to myself and to really understand who I am. Sometimes that's come at the expense of the love I've longed for, for the meaningful work I've saught, the more meaningful friendships I've needed.

"I gotta have roots before branches, to know who I am before I know who I wanna be..."

I've kept looking for the one big thing that's been holding me back. I keep searching for the hidden trauma that keeps me tied down... I've been great at going back and facing all those big things. I'm a Scorpio, I excel at facing demons. The bigger the crusade, the harder I'll fight. The darkness doesn't scare me, I've stared it down many times. I don't fear losing what I have because I've lost those things and survived. Yet, at some point, you run out of demons. I keep searching and there just aren't any left.

"And faith to take chances, to live like I see... A place in this world for me."

I've spent so much time searching for my place in this world, constantly finding reasons why I could never possibly fit. So many times I've been willing to judge myself on the basis on what others think or how they respond. But now it's time to take a chance... to say that it's finally time to leave all the excuses behind and to let my place be here, to let my time be now, regardless of anything else. This is where I belong.

For You, Santa Baby...

This planet was only able to hang on to Eartha Kitt for 81 years. Yet, it seems fitting that the indomitable Ms. Kitt made her exit on Christmas Day. I had the pleasure to see her perform earlier this year and was amazed... I hadn't realized it would be the only chance I would get. We lose another legend... and yet, we knew it couldn't last forever. Thank you for being you.

I Know That's Right!

Seen today. The Universe is trying to tell me something!

Cosmic Humor

Just in case you forgot that the FSM had a sense of humor: Exhibit 1: The Furby. Yes, they're evil and will steal your soul. But you thought that was just make believe, didn't you? You didn't think that a real live Furby would show up to devour your very essense, did you?

The evil is real. When your doom appears, you'll know it originated in Indonesia.

It's Over!

Yes, We Did.

Denial...

As you can see in my last blog entry, I'm predicting a big Obama victory. Even those who are hallucinating a McCain victory have to anticipate tremendous gains by Democrats in the House and Senate. They might not get to 60 votes in the Senate, but they'll be close.

I've already started hearing the psychological defense mechanisms from conservative Republicans. The talking point of choice: "America is a center-right country." Usage: The Democrats won't be able to really pursue their agenda because America is a center-right country. I was reading an article on the candidates' environmental policies and Newt Gingrich used that line with regard to Obama's policies. "Obama's plan won't work because America is a center-right country." I heard a clip of another Republican talking head say that this morning.

This, my friends, is what's called "denial." While I don't see the US suddenly becoming Sweden politically, it's hard to envision that some intrinsic "center-rightness" will magically counteract what is clearly a movement leftward. Should the Democrats learn their lessons from the last 8 years and avoid governing from the fringe of the party as opposed to the center? Of course. Despite all the Fox News talking points that Obama is a radical, it's hard to imagine that he's going to up and nationalize the healthcare system or pursue anything far out. From all accounts, Obama's politics are on the left, but he's demonstrated (if you bother to listen) that he isn't particularly ideological. But to imagine that the voters are going to elect him as well as a large majority in the Congress but not really expect that they're not going to govern in a different way is just pure fantasy.

Keep in mind, I'm not a registered Democrat -- I'm an independent and I understand and expect that the Democratic Party can exhibit the same sort of excesses that we've seen from the Bush Administration. That said, these past 8 years and the Rove "Permanent Republican Majority" strategy has fucked the Republican Party for many years to come. There won't be a way to put the pieces back together they way they were, especially because what's left of the base is hell bent on branding as traitors anyone who doesn't subscribe to orthodoxy. That's not a recipe for building a new coalition.

So, sit back and enjoy the show!

My Life's Motto

Found this past Friday night. I can't think of truer words.

Time to Choose

Arizona has already started sending out early voting ballots. In fact, mine just arrived in the mail today. I just filled mine out, although I haven't mailed it back yet. (It's only been here 15 min or so, not like I'm stalling, here.) In any event, I'm glad to be able to finally put my two cents in officially, even if I don't expect Arizona to end up in the Obama column.

While I'll enjoy watching the last few weeks of this drama play itself out, regardless of what happens (by that I mean, regardless of the margin of Obama's win), it's time to quit agonizing over the choices and just choose. Choose something and take a step in that direction. That's something I've needed in my life -- less contemplation about what direction I should go and more confidence in the notion that movement in whatever direction I've chosen will yield rewards. And while this particular choice is important, both for the country and those personal choices in my own life, the truth is that they're not the only choices I or we will ever make.

I guess that's the trick -- no matter how good a decision is, or how poor it is, there is always an opportunity to choose again. Sometimes I lose sight of that... sometimes I forget and think that the choices of the past bind me, when in truth I've always had the ability to go in whatever direction that really inspires me.

"Yes, there are two paths that you can go by,
but in the long run,
there's still time to change the road you're on."
- "Stairway to Heaven", Led Zepplin

Doublespeak

Touched By His Noodley Appendage

Badass

Many thanks to another badass: Scott at Bill In Exile.