A Quiz...

You scored as alternative. You're partially respected for being an individual in a conformist world yet others take you as a radical. You have no place in society because you choose not to belong there - you're the luckiest of them all, even if your parents are completely ashamed of you. Just don't take drugs ok?

What Social Status are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

National Treasure

I went to see the new Nicholas Cage movie, National Treasure, with my friend, Tylene. For those of you who haven't heard anything about this movie, the story, in a nutshell, is this -- Nicholas Cage plays a treasure hunter out to discover the treasure of the Knights Templar (now the Freemasons), which was hidden in America during colonial times. The Freemasons included many of the nation's founders, including George Washington and Benjamin Franklin. The key to finding the treasure is a invisible map hidden on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Cage must steal the Declaration before his rival does, in order to protect it and the treasure.

I have to admit that I enjoyed this movie. Of course it's rather formulaic -- it's certainly not on the level of Raiders of the Lost Ark or Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Then again, I enjoyed the whole Freemasons angle, which is very much in line with what I understand about the Freemasons. Of course, the REAL treasure in this movie is Cage's geeky, though spunky, comedic sidekick, Riley, played by Justin Bartha. It was difficult to focus on the rest of the movie because I kept wanting them to get back to Riley. Once I got home, I wondered, why the hell haven't I seen this guy in something before? The answer, my friends, is because the only other major film he was in was the colossal Affleck-Lopez disaster flick, Gigli. Well, at least at this point, Justin's post-Gigli career is off to a much better start than Ben Affleck's. I for one would MUCH rather sleep with Mr. Bartha here than I would with Ben Affleck. I'm hoping to see a lot more of Justin Bartha.

Happy Turkey Day!

I'm cute AND I bake. Apple pies for Thanksgiving. Hope you all have a good holiday!

The Exorcist

A cathedral in St. Paul, Minnesota was recently found to have been vandalized with blessed oil and salt after discussions between the Rainbow Sash Alliance, a gay rights group, and an opposition group, Catholics Against Sacrilege. Earlier in the year, a group of church members had prevented Rainbow Sash members from receiving communion.

Apparently, the oil and salt were used as an informal exorcism to cast out "evil." A man had threatened to douse Rainbow Sash members with "exorcised" oil blessed by a priest, although police have not yet conducted an investigation. In any event, cleaning up after the "exorcism" will cost thousands of dollars.

Of course, I believe the Church is going to brand this as the work of some looney, but the reality is that the Church created this situation. They planted the seed that a group of people is "evil" for the mere fact of its existence. I doubt anyone within the Church will be willing to accept responsibility for starting this but the truth is, you reap what you sow.

A...E...I...O...U...

I needed to pick up some continuing education hours to keep my homo-card current, so I rented My Fair Lady. I'm embarrased to admit that I had never seen it before, so I decided this would be a good time to finally sit down and watch it.

Audrey, Audrey, Audrey. How could anyone fail to love Audrey Hepburn? She's beautiful, elegant, charming... aSo far nd there's just something special about her. I just don't think there's anyone around today like Audrey.

Which brings me to another issue, My Fair Lady being a musical, and all. People just don't spontaneously break out into song and choreographed dancing nearly enough for my taste. I know I'd be more inclined to give more money to the homeless if they all suddenly broke out into "Wouldn't It Be Lovely?"

On to the substance of the story. I completely agree with Rex Harrison when he sang, "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" Of course, I figure that even if they tried, you're better off with the real thing. Aside from that, by the end of the movie I kept asking myself, "What the hell is she doing going back to him?" He treats her like an object the entire movie and she goes back. Mind boggling. Just awful. Then I realized that maybe he beat her and she has battered woman syndrome. She certainly seems to exhibit that abused wife sort of mentality... Anyway, I'm a sucker for a good love story and I love happy endings, but this has to be one the most horrible endings I have ever seen. I'd have a preferred a strange Japanese ending where Audrey ritually disembowels herself or a French one where they both become sad, lonely alcoholic, chain smokers. But this had to have been the least happy ending I could imagine.

Behold the Power of Cheese!

I'll bet you've all heard about it by now, but this religious icon - the Holy Santa Maria de Torta Queso was recently sold for $28,000 to an online casino. This sacred sandwich is reported to have mystical powers - after 10 years it has not grown moldy and the original owner, Diane Duyser reports it had brought her luck - including winnings of $70,000 at a casino near her Florida home. The casino, Goldenpalace.com, intends to take the icon on tour -- "We believe that everyone should be able to see it and learn of its mystical power for themselves."

You know, I'm really glad that this country is returning to good, old fashioned moral values so we can be worthy enough to venerate the Our Lady of the Kraft Singles. Personally, I think the military should buy the sandwich and use it to lead our Holy American Crusaders to victory in Iraq. It's a sign, I tell you... A sign that our cause is just and that WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!

I'm Not Afraid Of The Dark...

Having already seen The Chronicles of Riddick, I went ahead and rented Pitch Black. I went and saw Riddick in the theater and thought it was a decent middle-of-the-road sci-fi movie and since the pickings at Blockbuster have been mighty slim lately, I figured that Pitch Black would be a good choice and would clue me in to the story leading up to Riddick.

Anyway, let's start off with the main man -- Vin Diesel. I'd sleep with him, I guess, but he's really not high on my list. If you're going for the big, muscled, shaved-head type, I'd choose GeekSlut over Vin any day of the week... (GeekSlut has this underlying nice guy vibe, which is the antithesis of the whole Vin Diesel draw...)

I was rather surprised to find that Claudia Black of Farscape fame was in this movie. She's definitely one of my favorites and I've seen her pop up in unexpected places -- I was watching an episode of Beastmaster she was in and I kept waiting for D'Argo and Crichton to pop up any minute. The next thing I know, the actor who plays D'Argo shows up in the episode. Unfortunately, there was no Ben Browder in either Pitch Black or Beastmaster. While I'd like to be able to say that I ended up having erotic dreams about Browder, ala Adam, I was not that fortunate. I was also disappointed that Claudia's character was killed off about halfway through the movie. Of course, it was nothing personal -- it's just that kind of movie.

Anyway, the whole story of this movie is that a group of travellers crash lands on this deserted planet and must get off before they are eaten by a bunch of hungry critters that can only come out in the dark. The kicker is that the planet is headed for one big solar eclipse. The hungry critters struck me as a big ripoff of Alien...

At the core of both Pitch Black and Riddick is the basic idea of the anti-hero-- someone who we normally consider the bad guy, but we end up rooting for anyway. I'll admit that while its occasionally amusing to see flawed, hypocritical characters get their comeuppence at Riddick's hands, on the whole, generally, I just can't get into the whole anti-hero thing. The whole "I'm a badass and I'm gonna fuck you up" attitude is a big turnoff for me. A guess, when you get to the bottom of things, I'd like to think I'm one of the good guys and I'd rather cheer for one of us.

He's not gay, he's just in a fraternity...

Well, Alexander isn't even out yet and there is plenty of controversy. The first wave is over whether Oliver Stone's new movie is too gay or not gay enough. There seems to be a consensus between scholars that while Alexander had 3 wives and a son, he was in love with Hephestaestion and kept a persian eunuch, Bagoas, as a concubine. One of the philosophers wrote, "Alexander was defeated once in his life, and that was by Hephaestion's thighs."

There are no love scenes with Hephaestion, played by Jared Leto, which is quite unfortunate because I would love to see Jared Leto get it on. Still, Leto is reported to have said that the movie is clear that Hephaestion is Alexander's great love, even if there is no explicit love scene between them.

Predictably, there are many in the straight community who bristle at any suggestion of homosexuality and prefer a sanitized version, like Warner Brother's previous historical epic, Troy -- in which they portray Patroclus as Achilles's cousin rather than his lover. Of course, we of the homo predilection want to see Jared Leto and Colin Farrell go at it and preserve the historical integrity of the film.

Now, a group of Greek attorneys are threatening to sue Warner Brothers and Oliver Stone because they contend that Alexander was not gay/bisexual. Read the article here. They are quoted as saying, "We have not seen the film but from the information we have already there are references to his alleged homosexuality, a fact that is in no historical document or archive on Alexander." They must have missed that reference to "Hephaestion's thighs..." I'm sure Liberace's parents didn't believe he was gay, either.

What's all the hubbub, bub?

I don't pay too much attention to the TV world, unless it's on the WB, but this grabbed my attention. Apparently, ABC used a racy opener to the most recent Monday Night Football to plug its new hit, Desperate Housewives. Predictably, after the intro aired, some viewers complained and now the FCC is griping, ABC, the NFL and the team are falling over themselves to apologize for having such horrible judgment. One NFL coach even went as far as to say that the skit was racist. I ended up seeing a clip of the intro on another program today. My reaction: Big fuckin' deal. What I DO find rather pathetic is the predictable knee-jerk reaction by the right wing "Family" Organizations and the boatloads of mea culpas that followed. First of all, this whole firestorm has only given ABC the publicity it was hoping for. Second of all, I wonder what upsets the Christian Crusaders more? 1) Something that frankly deals with sexuality; 2) the prospect of a sexual encounter between a black man and a white woman; 3) the prospect of a conversation between a black man and a white woman that does not include the phrase, "Would you like fries with that?"; 4) the prospect of a woman being a sexual aggressor; or 5) the prospect of millions of women watching a show that recognizes the emptiness of their cookie cutter, "A woman should stay home and take care of the kids" kind of 50s lifestyle?

One thing that this whole incident does bring up is: Where in the world is Shannon Tweed? She's really the queen of the whole Desperate Housewives kind of genre, making her career out of playing roles like naughty schoolteacher, naughty neigbor, naughty legal secretary and naughty optometrist in direct to video titles. Personally, I think Desperate Housewives owes its very existence to Shannon Tweed - they should write her into the series. After all, they should really call the genre "Shannon Acendent!"

Shakeups in the Administration

Today's Headline: Bush Names Spelling New Education Secretary.

Classic. Just classic.

Winning The War

I rented Shrek 2 this weekend. If you haven't already guessed, Puss In Boots is my absolute FAVORITE. The thing that really struck me when I watched is the incredibly high gay factor of this movie. From the wolf in grandma's clothing to the ugly stepsister, to Puss in Boots calling Prince Charming dreamy, there is a strong gay undercurrent to this movie. Now, I'll be the first to admit that this isn't an exactly revolutionary observation, I'm sure. Nor is it a new phenomenon -- I mean, look at Thelma from Scooby Doo... could she be a bigger dyke? Pee Wee Herman was the biggest screaming 'mo kids TV has ever seen (and maybe WILL ever see). The Simpsons has Smithers and one of Marge's sisters. I know I've been incredibly disappointed with the recent elections, but taking a long view, the reality is that, at least when we talk about gay rights and moving past that into gay acceptance, we may have lost this battle, but we're winning the war. Wal-Mart may not sell copies of Latter Days (I checked...) , but they will sell The Simpsons and Shrek 2. We just have to hold off the old nutcases until they die. Change WILL happen. They can't stop it.

In The Navy...

Last night was the annual M.E.A.T. party (don't ask me what M.E.A.T. stands for...), which is a military themed house party in Scottsdale. This was the second year I've gone and it's always a good time and a big party. Unfortunately, when I sold my condo earlier this year, a big chunk of my clothes (and most of my themed party clothing) went into storage. That meant no military themed outfit for me. I did feel a little out of place at the start, but after a couple of drinks, I really didn't care.

One of the fun little things at the party is that when you arrive, you get a little tag where you declare whether you're a top, bottom or versatile. It was interesting because 1) I got to find out a little about some of the guys I've been wondering about; and 2) it's funny how many of the big ol' bottoms I know are not comfortable coming out and saying that they're big ol' bottoms. You know how the saying goes -- "Just 'cause you sit on it doesn't make you a top." Of course, a couple of guys there I've had my eye on for a while, big built guys... end up being big bottoms... Just the way I like 'em!

Anyway, there was a hell of a lot of booze flowing, which kept things well lubricated. This was an interesting party because I ended up talking with many more people than I usually do. I guess being nice and drunk helped. Seriously, though, I ended up talking with some guys that I've always found incredibly attractive but had not really had the opportunity to really engage with. I should know this lesson by now, but I'm always surprised when that happens... I guess I still feel like that awkward high school kid that didn't really know where he fit in. Still, it's a nice surprise when you're talking with someone you've always thought is hot and then you notice he's grabbing your ass.

Random Friday Musings...

I just got a letter from donut jelly Adam, who is in Paris right now. He sent me a postcard confirming that "eye contact is the universal language." I'm wondering if he hooked up with someone over there and played with his... baguette...

A number of stations across the country declined to show Saving Private Ryan yesterday because they were concerned about being fined by the FCC. The station in Phoenix was one of the stations that ended up showing Hoosiers instead. That's a pretty sad statement about our the current political environment. I think I'll go watch Saving Ryan's Privates instead. I can't think of a better way of protesting censorship than by watching gay porn.

And from the BBC: "Officials in a south Russian city are to impose restrictions on discos and attempt to "educate" DJs in an effort to improve public morality... From now on, only music which is considered to be of a moral nature can be played... Recommended works include folk music, Russian and western classics. Disc jockeys must have completed secondary education and they must know Russia's law on culture. Special courses will be organised to help DJs improve their qualifications." Oh my. Note to self-- cancel my gig in Belgorod...

Eche-Day

Happy Eche-Day to me... Happy Eche-Day to me... Happy Eche-Day, Happy Eche-Day... Happy Eche-Day to me!

Hot Straight Guys...

Every once in a while I do alcohol promotions at various bars around town. Last night I had a promotion for Captain Morgan's at Roscoe's, a gay sports bar in Phoenix. Usually when I do promotions at gay bars in town, they have trouble finding guys to work them with me. Last night, they ended up sending these two straight guys (they are the upstairs neighbor of the woman who runs the agency) to cover the event. Let me tell you, these guys were very straight and HOT! From the moment they walked in the bar, they both had the deer in the headlights look. They were both noticably uncomfortable. Roscoe's is a sports bar and is very laid back -- it's not the type of place where a bunch of guys were going to come up and start pawing them. (I sure wouldn't have minded pawing both of them, but I [usually] don't do stuff like that...) Never the less, our job was to go through the bar and tell people about the special and pass out promotional stuff. I don't think I remember them going and approaching any of the people there... they just hung behind me as I went around the bar. Later in the promotion, they loosened up a bit -- a couple of drinks didn't hurt. Anyway, I think all straight men should be required to hang out in a gay bar for a while to get a sense of the way women are often treated -- it's pretty unnerving to go from predator to prey... It reminded me that society at large needs to be exposed to the gay perspective. I would hope that people might do things differently if they could experience the world in a different way, even for a little while.

Don't Give Up!

Jonny just pointed out an
amazing column from the SF Gate for all of us who are still licking our wounds after the election. It's a reminder that our country needs us now more than ever.

Looking Back... and Forward

It's been several days since the horror that we collectively call Election 2004. I am feeling somewhat better, although I really can't bring myself to make much of a connection to the post-election analysis. I read an article a few days ago about how Canada is bracing itself for a flood of gay "refugees" who have been investigating what it would take to relocate across the border. The first thing that strikes me is an overwhelming sadness at the concept of an American refugee. I don't care whether you approve of homosexuality or not, but the fact that the electorate has singled out a group of its own citizens and driven it to the point that a decent chunk of them are contemplating fleeing the country is a black day for this country. Of course, despite our national mythology about being the home of freedom, we have a pretty dark side that includes slavery, internment camps and segregation... that's only talking about large-scale, state-sponsored oppression. We haven't quite lived up to the ideals that out Founding Fathers enshrined in the Declaration of Independence... of course, the Founding Fathers didn't live up to them either. I can't say that I don't understand the urge to pack it up and head to Canada, but I've never been the type to give up, so my basic realization is that we have a hell of a lot of work to do to clean up this mess.

One of the biggest things I've worked on the past few years in my life is the realization that everything happens for a reason and that we can (and should) learn from those events that we like the least. Now, that philosophy hasn't eliminated the visceral feeling of anger in the pit of my stomach, but it has helped. Looking back at the period leading up to the election, there seemed to be a belief by progressives, Democrats, and the rest on the left that more money and turnout would solve our problems. Obviously, this election can teach us many things. At its core, this election was about three things: fear, hatred and ignorance. I know those who voted for Bush won't like that characterization, but if you look beneath the surface, that's the core at the Republican campaign -- fear of terrorism, fear and loathing of gays, and ignorance of what is going on in the world around us (especially the war on terror and Iraq). Rove and company did a master marketing job by cloaking these in the mantle of patriotism and morality and drawing attention away from Bush's record.

So, what can we learn from this? The biggest thing, in my mind, is that more money and high turnout will not change things if we keep doing things the way they were done in this election. Beyond that, I think the "undecided voter" phenomenon demonstrates that a big chunk of people really doesn't want to deal with the issues in any sort of depth. I just don't believe that someone can remain undecided for such a long period of time if they've taken the time to really get informed on the issues. So, that means that a lot of people are looking for a quick, easy choice. I think that really demonstrates the effectiveness of the Bush administration's tendency to keep the drum beat of their message going, regardless of the facts... If you're not paying close attention, you're going to believe it just because you've heard it so frequently. Another big thing is that you're better off framing the issues being for something rather than being against something. Certainly there were many more voters there who were VERY excited about Bush than there were really jazzed about John Kerry.

So, if you're a progressive and want to see changes in this country, how do we go about getting things done in the face of what may be the zenith of the conservative movement? I think the most obvious thing is that we have to change our approach or we're going to get our asses kicked. One point in our favor is that it appears that those in power have really gone all out to stay there. The marriage of social/religious conservatives and traditional conservatives is hardly a good one. Basic traditional conservative principles such as fiscal discipline, individual liberties and limited federal power are nowhere to be found in this administration. The whole Halliburton and Enron fiascos demonstrate that corruption is a major problem. So, I think we have to be willing to team up with traditional conservatives seeking reform. It may make for some strange bedfellows, but I see a major wedge on the right coming up. The other positive thing is that Bush can't run again. I can't see Cheney running for President. The supposed frontrunners are McCain, Giuliani and the Governator. Of course, Arnie is a no go because he wasn't born here and there is absolutely zero chance of the Constitution being changed on that point. Giuliani and Arnie are also generally pretty liberal on social issues such as abortion and gay rights, so that won't play well in Born Again land. I also don't see much love between McCain and the hard core conservatives who are calling the shots right now, so its hard to envision who the Republicans will offer.

On a more individual level, though, what can we do to try to get things done in the face of hostile legislatures and courts. I was watching one of Geekslut's recent videos and he suggested that its time for us to start acting more like Republicans. I disagree with his idea that this means we should start being selfish and greedy, but I do think that it's time to start approaching things from a different angle. I think it's time we have a better idea of concrete things we want to get accomplished and then come at it from another direction instead of the traditional liberal/conservative mindset. There's certainly precident for it back in the Progressive heyday of Teddy Roosevelt and that era, and I think it's time to pull some pages from his playbook.

Bottom Of The Barrel...

Ok, let me say that the Blockbuster Movie Pass is a great thing -- you can rent all the movies you want without having to worry avout late fees for $20 a month. All in all, a very good deal. Of course, it means that I've watched many more movies than I would have if I had to pay $4 a movie. That being said, the reality is that there are only so many watchable new movies at any one time. I don't consider a movie such as Boa vs. Python 2 as an option, even if it is in the New Releases section. So, since my social life has ebbed to a low point recently, it means I've pretty much exhausted all the new releases that I would be willing to watch. That means I've had to reach back into some of the older titles. Of course, I've watched most of the older movies that I've wanted to see as well, so basically, I've reached the bottom of the barrel. And so, I ended up renting Poison Ivy - The New Seduction, only because I knew that Greg Vaughan was in it. I found it remarkable that this was actually the third installment in the Poison Ivy series. Who would have thought that Poison Ivy warrented a trilogy? In any event, the upside was that I got to see a very young-looking Greg Vaughan (a few years younger than his Charmed appearances) in various states of undress. Let me tell you, I thought that Greg looked amazing in Charmed, but he looks even better without all those clothes. This didn't come without some cost, however. I did have to endure seeing Jamie Presley's breasts on several occasions. Now, its not my first choice of naked flesh, but realistically, in the cosmic scheme of things, it wasn't all that bad. I have no problem acknowledging female beauty... it was a hell of a lot nicer than being scarred by that old woman's coochie in Swimming Pool. I still have nightmares about that one. All in all, I can say that I'll never watch this movie again, but memories of a nekkid Greg Vaughan will be floating around in my head for years to come.

FUCK!

I've really been struggling all day to regain a sense of perspective after the election. I've really worked hard to be the type of person that doesn't take this world too personally. In spite of it all, I just can't escape the reality that I am just incredibly hurt and angry. The sad reality is that in this election, Bush & Co. had absolutely nothing to sell but fear and 57 million Americans bought it with a smile and a "Praise Jesus." What's worse is the reality that the vast majority of Americans seem to think that gay marriage is a bigger threat than suicide bombers. Despite overwhelming evidence that this is the most corrupt and cynical administration in history, they still won. Just amazing.

Zen Buddhism teaches that one of the big lessons of this world is that we're way too quick to judge events as good or bad -- it really takes time to sort things out. In my personal life, I have to admit that this is true -- even what I felt were my darkest hours always worked out for the best. So, I'm trying to remind myself of that lesson in the light of this whole fiasco... if you haven't noticed, that whole process isn't going real well right now...

Frustration

Frustration

Sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug,
Or that's what I've been told,
But this feeling like someone's just pulled out the rug
Sure is getting old.
I'm not the type to to whine and pout if I don't always get my way,
I thought I'd moved past that.
But I just can't shake this feeling of being beaten down today,
Lying cold on the mat.

"It's not right, but it's ok," just like Whitney Houston says,
(Though I'll skip the lines of coke...)
Gotta get back up to face each of these new days,
I won't stay down and be a joke.
One foot in front of the other, I'm not sure what else to do,
just another hill to climb.
And even if it takes a while, I know we'll make it through--
It can't rain all the time.

An Amusing Diversion

Ok y'all, I am doing my best to avoid thinking about the election, so here it a nice diversion...

-------------

TAIPEI, Taiwan - A man leaped into a lion’s den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts.

“Jesus will save you!” shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away.

“Come bite me!” he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

One of the lions, a large male with a shaggy mane, bit the man in his right leg before zoo workers drove it off with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

Newspapers said that the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise the man might have been more seriously hurt ... or worse.

The Final Countdown...

Only a few more hours until the polls open for Election Day 2004. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'll be really happy when this freakin election is over already. And let me say that I'm pretty fucking tired of getting mailers, e-mails and calls telling me to vote. Of course, maybe that's because I sent my Early Voting ballot back a month ago. I guess I'm allowed to be annoyed because I already voted. To those of you who haven't, I blame you because I wouldn't be getting all this crap if the parties and political groups didn't think that you wouldn't vote unless they nagged the shit out of you. That being said, if you're thinking of voting for Bush, I guess that its really better if you stay home. I know I'm supposed to support the political process as a whole and let each vote be counted and all that, but we have a long proud tradition in this country of voting early and often for the candidates we like and throwing out the votes of candidates we don't like... Heh.

Seriously, I hate to chime in when you have a million other broken records saying it already, make sure you vote tomorrow... Participation in the political process is important... even if you (*cringing*) vote for Bush. "{Subliminal message on}Vote for Kerry!{Subliminal message off.}

I think I'll purge and eat again...

Adam and I went out for Indian food tonight for dinner. I had been having a craving for Indian food for the past few weeks. Normally I tend to do dinner on my own because its a pain in the ass to make plans with most of my friends spread around the Valley and I'm not sure which of them actually enjoy Indian food. Fortunately, Adam lives about 2 miles from me and he was strongly in favor of Indian food. We ended up heading to The Royal Taj, on Broadway and McClintock in Tempe (for those of you who know the area) and I would definitely recommend it. (Keep in mind that I am hardly an expert on Indian cuisine) I had the Chicken Tikka Masala and Adam ordered something with okra in it. I had never tried okra before, but it worked for me. Good food and excellent conversation with Mr. Donut Jelly himself. The only downside is that Adam will be off galavanting in Paris soon. He's even missing my birthday. That makes me very sad. Who will have Indian food with me then?