Ca-Clunk!

On New Year's Eve morning, as I come home from the bar after another set and stop at the off-ramp right before my house my old car wheezed and then gave me a big "Ca-clunk!" as I pulled into the intersection when the light turned green and limped home. In my head I tried to reassure myself that it wouldn't be TOO serious, although the feeling in the pit of my stomach gave me a different answer: I had just heard my car giving up the ghost.

20 hours in LA for New Years Day, the Fiesta Bowl and a trip to the mechanic later, I finally got word back from my mechanic that confirmed what my stomach had told me nights earlier. I had blown a rod in my engine and it wasn't really worth fixing. It was time to look for a new car, I suppose. Panic set in, at least for a few hours.

I had been asking the Universe for a new car for the past year -- a blue Mini Cooper, to be specific -- knowing that my old car had given me plenty of good years. Once I stepped away from the uncertainty of things, I managed to regroup and the car I had been asking for seemingly fell into my lap, just as I had asked. I had only needed to trust that everything would work out ok... and they did, even better than I had imagined.

Jump forward to Monday afternoon when my manager scheduled a meeting with me... again my gut fires off a warning I would have preferred to ignore. I had been asking for a job that I really enjoyed, one that allowed me to be creative to help people... the current contracting position has been comfortable and I've enjoyed the environment, but like my old car, I know its not what I really wanted. That evening, I managed to reassure myself that I had jumped to the wrong conclusion and that everything was business as usual.

This morning I got the news that my gut received days earlier. While I fight off the waves of self-doubt and second guessing and accompanying uncertainty, I can't help but notice the feeling like I've been through this before -- that this is just the catalyst I need to bring in something shiny and new that I just can't believe has fallen into my lap. Its over the cliff I go and I don't really have much choice but trust that I really can fly... this is just the door opening to what I've been waiting for, right?

Ca-clunk!

From Flab to Fab!

Ok, y'all, I need your help on this one. Adam and I were discussing our generally sloth-like behavior. As I've mentioned before, I did start going to yoga back in October. I enjoy it, but since I started this new job in November, my attendence hasn't been as frequent or consistent as I'd like. Add to that the reality that I haven't stepped foot in the gym in almost a year. Not so good.

It was not always this way -- I used to frequent the gym on a regular basis. I was actually on the skinny side (wasn't able to put on enough muscle to lean out the way I'd like, though...) Since that time, however, I think I've put my time to fairly good use, but I'm definitely aware that its time to return to a more balanced existance.

So, I guess the question is this: How the hell can I overcome the inertia (and reality that progress isn't usually as quick and dramatic as I'd like it to be) to get my fat ass moving? I figure some of you out there must have some suggestions, so now is the time to speak up. I may just find a way to reward y'all, should your suggestions be helpful.

This is your cue to leave a comment.

Adam's Guest Beef Haiku

When I went to school
They told me, "eat all food groups!"
Tube steak is the best!

Marc's Midweek Abercrombie Beef Haiku

Spawn of Creepy Guy
Are you straight or are you gay?
Nair must be on sale.

A dilemma...

I've got an important question for you all... If you haven't been paying attention, Paul Walker has a new movie out -- Eight Below. Essentially, its a Disney flick involving a pack of sled dogs and Paul Walker in a parka. Now, I'll be honest about this -- generally, I consider Paul Walker's acting skills to be minimal. But, he sure is pretty and if he was going to be shirtless, it might provide some motivation to go see this, given the dearth of decent movies out right now... Of course, a shirtless Paul Walker hasn't been enough to get me to watch any of his movies since Pleasantville, She's All That and Varsity Blues. So, I guess that raises the question for me -- how bad a movie are you willing to see if they're willing to show hot male flesh?

Another interesting point - Paul Walker is actually a couple of months older than me. I have a tough time accepting him in my 30s generation...

Fighting For Your Rights?

With all of the recent talk of this Administration's policy on wiretaps on US citizens without warrants along with surveillance on anti-war and other dissident groups (gay rights, vegans), one might get the impression that Bush and company aren't too terribly concerned about civil rights in their Christian Jihad against terror.

In the spirit of Boifromtroy and Bratboyschool (still love ya, Ethan!), I'm here to tell you that this is simply part of the liberal media's systematic bias against this Administration. In truth, in 2004 President Bush signed a bill that created the Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board, charged with protecting our Civil Rights in light of the war on terrorism. A recent article by the Los Angeles Times discusses the Board.

While some critics of the Administration have noted that the Board has never actually met or done any work since the bill was signed into law in 2004, White House spokeswoman Dana Perino reassured, "Obviously, civil liberties issues are critically important, and they have been to this president, especially after 9/11." Democrats and the liberal media have ignored such statements and have asked pointless questions, such as, "Why does only one of the board members have any civil rights experience?" or, "Why didn't Bush's 2007 budget include any funding for the Board?" Clearly, these are simply partisan attacks by those who have no positive ideas for this country.

A Board has been created. The White House has assured us that it cares about Civil Rights. The government is our friend. All is well.

Hungry for Cock

I have to admit that I've been rather sex-starved lately. Fortunately, a new Beijing restauraunt has what I've been craving: Cock. And I'm not talking about rooster. Guolizhuang is all about cock. You can try seal, yak, dog, or donkey... for the size queen out there, horse cock is on the menu. For those of you who are feeling rather slutty hungry... you can try the hotpot, which features six types of penis and four different types of testicle.

You know, suddenly I seem to have lost both my sex drive AND my appetite. I guess you really CAN get too much cock.

At Least He Still Has Football!

US Olympian and Poster-Boy Jeremy Bloom went 0-for the Olympic Games in Torino. For those of you who haven't been keeping track, Bloom also played football for the University of Colorado, before the NCAA declared him ineligible for accepting skiing-related endorsement deals. Bloom placed sixth on today's moguls course. Now that his Olympic skiing career is over, Bloom has his sights set on the NFL, heading to next weeks NFL scouting combines in Indianapolis.

I have to admit that I wouldn't have paid any attention to this year's Winter Olympics at all if it weren't for Bloom... there's no bizarre drama ala Nancy Kerrigan & Tanya Harding to hold my attention... at least the Summer Olympics have hunky Russian Gymnasts like Alexei Nemov and wrestling is always interesting.

I guess I'm just not in the Olympic spirit. Does that make me a bad person?

The Christian Taliban

Let me start out by saying that I think the vast majority of Christians in this country are good, reasonable people. What's alarming, however, is the steady drumbeat of the fringe that is getting louder and louder.

Take for example, this report from Media Matters, describing an interview of Gary DeMar, conservative author and president of American Vision, on the so-called American Family Radio: DeMar advocates for the installation of a Christian Theocracy-style government. In a 1991 interview, DeMar explains, "The definition of Christian Reconstruction is simply this: The Bible applies to every facet of life. That means not just the judicial aspects of life, such as civil government, church government, but business, economics -- every facet of society. The Bible has something to say about each area. "

Indeed, for those who do not follow this Christianized Sharia law, the penalty is steep: DeMar writes, "The law that requires the death penalty for homosexual acts effectually drives the perversion of homosexuality back into the closet... The long term goal [is] the execution of abortionists and parents who hire them. If we argue that abortion is murder, then we must call for the death penalty." Essentially, DeMar and others like him are calling for a Christian version of the Taliban regime, or something along the line of an Iranian-style (but Christian) future for America.

This is insanity. With all the rhetoric from the White House about trying to bring freedom and democracy to the Middle East, the reality is that radicals are trying to bring theocratic fundamentalism to the US. God and Allah help us all.

Marc's Midweek Bass Fishing Beef Haiku

While I don't like "fish,"
Is that a trout in your shorts?
Damn, that's a nice rod!

VD

Okay, I'll have to admit that whether "VD" stands for a romantic, candlelight dinner or a trip to the clinic to get rid of that nasty burning sensation, neither has been on my list of things I particularly look forward to. As one of the non-coupled, its easy to slip into the familiar bitterness that washes over every year on February 14th... One of my friends had talked about how she was buying her customary quart of cheesecake ice cream in preparation for today.

For some reason, things feel a little different this year. As I mentioned before, I don't have any romantic dinner plans. Rather, a sweaty bikram yoga session will be the highlight of my day. I'll confess that while there's someone I wish I could spend a romantic dinner with, I'm not quite sure if he feels the same way yet. Still, the mere possibility of something going on has considerably improved my mood these days. So, while I'm not exactly singing "Love is in the air," I have to admit that its nice that things aren't so bleak. That said, maybe I'll go get some new porn tonight.

Just Because

I don't have any particular reason for posting this pic, other than because its Friday and he's hot. Much thanks to Rye at Got Gay? for finding this pic and inspiring me.

Football is SO gay!

Don't Call It A Comeback...

What is it about Hollywood and sham relationships? Of course, there's the major one with an actor who will remain nameless who went on Oprah gushing about how much he loved his new bride to be. If that wasn't bad enough, Tinseltown has tried to revive a relationship we thought was long dead... No, this doesn't have anything to do with Liza Minelli or Star Jones. I'm talking Barbie and Ken. Barbie and Ken had a much publicized split back in 2004 - I figured that the charade had gone on long enough and that Ken had decided to finally be true to himself.

Today, Mattel announced that Ken was tan, rested and supposedly ready to reclaim Barbie's heart. After hitting the gym, the tanning salon and receiving a major makeover from Phillip Bloch, Mattel is trying to rekindle the flames between Barbie and Ken in hopes of boosting Barbie's sagging sales. I hate to say it, but I think this will be about as successful as those Swedish penguins. Now, I'm not saying that Ken is gay, but several reports have placed someone matching Ken's description at West Hollywood's famous "Rage" nightclub the past few weekends.

And can I say that Phillip Bloch showing off Ken's new look has to be one of the gayest things I have EVER seen.

More Hot Male Penguin-on-Penguin Action

A german zoo is continuing to try to tempt a several pairs of gay male penguins to switch teams, this time by flying in several penguins from Sweden. While one of the gay penguins apparently had a drunken fling with one of the Swedish penguins, by and large, the zoo's efforts have been in vain: "The Swedes will not make the first move," explained Heike Kueck, director of the Bremerhaven zoo.

Six of the zoo's ten male penguins have paired off, which prompted the zoo to fly in the Swedish penguins, in an attempt to encourage the penguins to breed. Apparently, our gay penguin brethren prefer attending Penguin Circuit Parties to raising kids. Nonetheless, the zoo issued a statement that "we accept the male couples that have formed and we are not trying to enforce heterosexuality, as we were accused of doing last year."

No word on whether the Rev. Fred Phelps and his band of homophobic whackos are planning to protest the penguins or the Penguin Circuit events.

Another Chad Allen

Dennis had commented on my previous Haiku that it appeared that Chad Allen was not aging well. Au contraire! Personally, I think he's MUCH more attractive now... Of course, I generally prefer guys who have matured a bit... A byproduct of being in my 30s now, I guess.

Anyway, Dennis raised a good point - while I enjoy the humor of watching religious conservatives go berzerko at the prospect of having a gay actor in one of their films, ultimately, Chad is an actor and should be judged by his performance. To boot, I'm rooting for any openly gay actors in the hope that more will take their lead and come out. I wish much success to the hunky Chad Allen.

Update: I also give Chad much props for the Aquaman T-Shirt.

Marc's Midweek Christian Cinema Beef Haiku

Cast a gay actor
In a Christian-themed movie...
Watch the fun begin!

One more Tahmoh

As I'm officially adding Tahmoh as a celebrity crush, I decided to add another shot of him. Now I need to find some pics of him in the tank top he wears on the show. As Jimmy Walker would say... DYNOMITE!

More Galactica Love

I've already talked about my celebrity crush on Galactica's Jamie Bamber, who plays Apollo. He's not the only hunk worthy of note. Lately I've been paying a lot more attention to Helo, who is played by Tahmoh Penikett. He's not quite as pretty as Jamie, but still damn sexy. Tahmoh hasn't been in acting for long, but I'm hoping we'll be seeing much more of him. I'm also hoping that I can coax my subconscious into creating several pornographic Apollo-Helo dreams in the nights to come. Yeah, I'd pay good money to watch those two frac. What is it about hot guys with brown hair? ROWR!

HomoVision!

Ok, I've generally been skeptical of "scientific" analyses of supposed tendencies of the sexes. History teaches us that our internal assumptions about gender tend to distort the outcomes of these studies. In any event, a recent study examined the brain scans of men and women while viewing various photographs of faces. Scientists theorized that people would respond to characteristics of reproductive fitness -- that is, reproduction is the guiding force in choosing a mate. The results of the study suggest that other factors may be just as important.

I know you're asking, "Marc, why the hell should I care?" Good question. The study also suggested that sexual orientation affected the viewer's responses -- while everyone processes facial information the same way, sexual orientation modifies which faces we register as pleasurable. "For heterosexual men and homosexual women, this part of the brain activated more when subjects viewed female faces. Conversely, homosexual men and heterosexual women showed more activity in this same region when they viewed male faces." In English, it means that I think Jamie Bamber is HOT and brain scans will confirm this.

For us homos, I don't think this is big news. For those in the "homosexuality is a choice" camp, this is just another bit of physiological evidence that tends to discredit that idea. What will they think to measure next? Comparative brainscans while watching musical theatre?

The First Rule of Death Cheese Club...

Okay, I'm not one of those people who got into the whole Fight Club thing. Yes, I'll admit that Brad Pitt looks pretty hot, but I didn't make it through the whole movie -- I thought it was boring as shit and turned it off about 45 minute into things. Strangely, however, I've never liked Ed Norton and I wouldn't have minded seeing him beaten to a bloody pulp, but apparently it was not enough to get me to sit through the movie.

Anyway, I digress. My point is that I've never quite understood the phenomenon. I figured it was one of those bizarre HETrosexual rituals I would forever be excluded from. Once again, the Universe proves me right: In New York City, a school bus driver had his own mini Fight Club of sorts... involving middle school students. The driver had dubbed his school bus the "Death Cheese Club" and encouraged the students to brawl on the bus and had a pecking order of who would beat on whom.

I have to say that having a Fight Club of middle school students has got to be the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. The beauty of it is that it gets even more pathetic: The driver is a big Star Wars fan and had dubbed himself "The Emperor" and had the kids fight with scissors instead of light sabers. I had never realized that geekiness could pose a physical threat, but apparently you can be such a dork that you endanger others.

Marc's Midweek Rugby Beef Haiku

My, its long and thick
I sure like the tapered end
Rugby sure is fun!