Farewell, my friend.

That Old Black Magic

Just in time for Halloween, here's an intersting little story. I think we all know that sometimes love can really bite and that some of us can do rather desperate things when we've been dumped. ("Some of us" refers to people other than me, of course.) Apparently, a distraught German woman who had recently been dumped sought out the help of an elderly woman who billed herself as a "Love Witch."

For the low price of only €1,000 (around $1,300), they held a full moon ritual designed to cause the ex-boyfriend to return. The jilted lover claimed the Love Witch gave her a money back guarantee... Ok, for those of you who don't know, real magic (or magick for those purists...) doesn't work that way.

Well, the spell didn't work -- hey, there's this little thing called free will and it is MAJOR bad karma to frak with it -- and the jilted lover wanted her money back. The German court sided against the Love Witch. What have we come to when a witch can't make a decent living?

Halloween Weekend Plans

One of my recent goals has been to schedule myself more time off from the bar. Spinning twice a weekend for this past year has been great and has given me the chance to learn a lot really quickly and really establish myself. But now its time to take a step back and give some other people a chance to play and myself the opportunity to reconnect with people socially.

Rainbows Festival weekend was my first chance to get out from the booth and back out on the town. I went to the Gold Party, which was somewhat disappointing. This Saturday is BS West's annual Halloween Party, which is always huge, along with the Monster Ball. Unfortunately, I had my chance to choose the party I went to and chose Gold, so I have to work. Nothing quite like the feeling of knowing knowing where everyone is going to be but not being able to be a part of things.

But I DO have tonight off. That leaves me with trying to figure out just what the hell to do when everyone is gearing up for tomorrow night. As a result, my enthusiasm for all things Halloween is rather subdued.

Marc's Midweek Football Beef Haiku

Hail the men of fall!
Surely beef's highest calling.
I love when you score!

Psychedelic!

The government and media are constantly bombarding us with stories about our nation's drug problem. To hear it told, none of us are safe from the scourge of drugs. (And that's not even including prescription drugs, which is another story altogether.) Apparently, the danger is even greater than we thought. Presenting this tragic story of a life of good dog gone bad due to drugs.

Lady was a model citizen. Loyal to her family, "really perky, and happy, and generally excited to see you when you came in the door every day," recalls Andrew Mirsch. She had everything to live for... and suddenly everything changed.

The Mirsch family moved into a new neighborhood and soon Lady fell in with the wrong crowd. Soon, the Mirsch family noticed something was different. "We noticed Lady spending an awful lot of time down by the pond in our backyard," Laura Mirsch recalls. If only she knew what was really happening... They found out too late, however, the true story.

Maybe the warning signs were there -- the glassy-eyed looks, the disorientation, the emotional distance... the barks that sounded oddly like, "Far Out!" But it wasn't until later that the Mirch family discovered what was really happening:

"[L]ate one night after I'd put the dogs out, Lady wouldn't come in. She finally staggered over to me from the cattails," Laura Mirsch explained in horror. "She looked up at me, leaned her head over and opened her mouth like she was going to throw up, and out plopped this disgusting toad." But that wasn't the worst of it. It was what every parent fears -- Lady was on drugs. It turns out, the fluids on the toad's skin are a powerful hallucinogen.

Despite the Mirsch family's attempts at intervention, the sad truth soon became apparent: Lady was out of control. "We couldn't keep our dog's addiction a secret any longer," Laura Mirsch says. "The neighbors all knew that Lady was a drug addict, and soon the other dogs weren't allowed to play with her."

Another tragic story of a life ruined by drugs and addiction. Don't let this happen to you.

I Love You, Brady!

Thanks, Towleroad!

Return of the Cleaning Hunk

I know that its a little late to be doing "Spring Cleaning" but the people at Xtra-Pine are determined to change that. Yes, the Cleaning Hunk is back. Actually, there are two NEW Cleaning Hunks. You get to choose between the original and two newcomers. To top it off, you also get to choose which music to listen to, which room they clean, and what outfit they wear. I don't really need much of an excuse to watch a shirtless beef and the novelty factor is high. Honestly, if I had this guy at my house and inclined to remove his clothes, I wouldn't be having him clean... but he's fun enough to watch, even if he can't dance for shit.

MovieLawn October!

I wanted to thank everyone for your support on the Stinky affair. He has improved a bit and I'm hoping that he will continue to improve. Lest you think my entire weekend was all about worrying about my cat (though I did do a fair amount), I did manage to have some fun.

Friday night was the first MovieLawn of the season. In attendance were Adam, our host, Kacy and Greg, Dyanna and her new beau, John, and Dyanna's friend from work. From your nominations, we ended up watching Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. We learned that Adam's Oklahoma upbringing did not permit him to learn the joys of Elvira prior to now. After we grilled some various forms of meat, along with heating up some really good pita bread and eating it with some garlic hummus, we sat down to watch an incredibly bad movie.

Another startling realization during this movie is that if, for some twisted reason I could never imagine, they decided to make another Elvira movie, they could always cast Kirsten Dunst in the role, as she is a spitting image of Elvira, even down to the lips and weird squirrel teeth.

Stinky

Hey gang. I've have a favor to ask of you all -- I've had to take my cat, Stinky, to the vet a couple of times in the past week with some pretty serious issues. Between the having to find $700 that I don't have and having serious concerns about whether he's gonna get better, its been a rough few days. Please keep Stinky in your thoughts and prayers - he's the best cat anyone could ask for and he can use all the help he can get.

Election Comedy

I am SO ready for this election to be over. I'm tired of getting reams of campaign flyers and recorded messages from J.D. Hayworth. Ugh. So, today I decided to go with a little election based comedy to lighten the mood.

Close your eyes and visualize this:

You're a naturalized citizen originally from Vietnam running for Congress as a Republican against a popular Democratic Representative. You're running behind, so you need to do something, quick!

Your campaign's next move: Let's try sending thousands of letters to latino Democrats telling them that if they're immigrants, they can be arrested for voting. Oooh, oooh, great idea!

Ok, voter suppression isn't exactly a new idea, and let's be honest, over the years its happened plenty, from both parties. So, the fact that these got caught is punchline enough because usually a campaign is smart enough not to get caught -- you should know enough to keep your voter suppression efforts on the DL.

Of course, the big punchline is the obvious one -- THE CANDIDATE IS A NATURALIZED CITIZEN. Ah yes, having a naturalized citizen jump on the anti-immigrant bandwagon, that's just priceless. It really is a Grand Old Party, isn't it?

File Under: 'Golden Calf'

Fundamentalist whackos are at it again. Ultra-orthodox Jews are blaming Isreal's recent war with Lebanon on the scheduled gay pride parade in November. Rabbi Moshe Sternbuch moralized, "We did not succeed in Lebanon due to the obscenity and promiscuity in the Holy Land."
(via Towleroad.)

Of course, there's been plenty of "blame the gays" recently - a few months ago, another Israeli rabbi blamed the gays for the bird flu. Last year, an official of the Methodist Church of New Zealand threatened that God would punish that country if his church wasn't allowed to have a second anti-gay march. Of course, that's over and above the gays causing 9/11 and Katrina. Of course, we've also heard that the angry Tiki god is furious at people voting the wrong way or not supporting Intelligent Design in school.

You know, I almost expect it from whacko religious leaders, but you know we're in trouble when you start getting this kind of crap from the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff -- Marine General Peter Pace recently declared that Donald Rumsfeld is inspired by the Almighty. "He leads in a way that the good Lord tells him is best for our country."

Just brilliant. I consider myself to be a very spiritual person. I really do try to respect others' religious views, as well. This, however, has crossed any reasonable line of sanity. The US gets a fair amount of criticism from the Arab world that the occupation of Iraq and the "War on Terror" are both really attacks on Islam. Of course, the Islamic community has more than its share of nutjobs too, but things like this seem to prove their point.

I'm tired of people trotting out God to justify their political and ideological beliefs. Even more importantly, God told me that he's fed up with it too. Now cut it out.

Stone

This morning has been a struggle to get access to some applications at work that I need in order to get things done. Anyway, during the downtime, I was talking to Jimmy (of the now-defunct Good Morning America 23), who has become one of my main AIM confidants. Jimmy's in London these days, going to school to become a nurse. Toward the end of our conversation this morning, we ended up on the subject of love and relationships. He's away from his bf for the next three years while he's in school and I'm seemingly doomed to love people I can't have. Love's a wonderful thing, we both agree. But the question is, if its something you've gotten to taste but can't have, would you be better off if you simply had never known what it felt like?

So far my experiences with love have been limited to those sudden moments where he suddenly looks at you in a way you weren't expecting and his smile manages to make your heart sing out... but as wonderful as those moments are, just as quickly they're gone and when you reach out to touch it, you're grasping at air. Most of the time the best you can do is move forward with your everyday life and try not to notice the stone in your heart. Truth be told, I've gotten much better at that... times where I can almost forget. I'd still have to agree with Jimmy, though, I can't help but think that maybe I'd be better off if I didn't know it until I could have it.

"Don't follow the lights... Or hobbits go down to join the dead ones, and light little candles of their own..."

Fucktard

Last night the new book club I'm in had its second meeting. I was looking forward to it and I really enjoyed getting to spend some time with the guys -- its a great bunch. We're still defining the rules of the types of books we're choosing, etc. So, last night the rule was that we were going to choose names out of a hat and whoever got picked would choose the next book. My friend, A., who I invited to the group was chosen and decided that we were going to read Bill O'Reilly's new book, "because it woudl be a good for us to know what those other people are reading." A book club of 6 or 7 gay men reading Bill O'Reilly? Let me say that I was NOT happy with the idea, but rules are rules. I am NOT looking forward to this.

Marc's Midweek New Job Beef Haiku

Must impress the boss,
the new guy must aim to please.
I'll get the job done!

Hayworthless

Today's been a slow day at work, so I've been surfing around a bit. I stumbled upon Radar Online's feature on the Ten Dumbest Congressmen. It came as no surprise when I read that my Rep, J.D. Hayworth came in at No. 4. A snippet from Radar's writeup on Hayworth:

Hayworth's dimness is so legendary on the Hill that one Arizona colleague told a reporter that he's a textbook example of the power of gerrymandering because of his continued ability to get re-elected despite saying "any foolish thing." Recently he put that thesis to the test, openly approving the nativist writings of the anti-Semitic auto baron Henry Ford and repeatedly mis-stating a reporter's first and last name during an interview. Of course, Hayworth is a strong supporter of "English only" bills, proving yet again the adage that those who can't do, legislate.

While it came as no shock that Hayworth was listed, I was left wondering how there could be three people who are actually dumber that Hayworth. As I read further, I saw that Katherine Harris of Florida came in first. Ok, I can't really argue with that.

Search Terms

I was looking at the stats on my blog and once again I was amazed by some of the search terms people use that end up bringing them here. I thought I might do something a little different and every so often allow you guys to decide just what search terms are the strangest. So, here's the first go-round...

Military Beef

Ok, I'm not a fan of the Occupation of Iraq, I'm counting the days until Bush's term is finally over, and I'm looking forward to a Democratic Congress that will actually do its job rather than rubberstamping the unconstitutional laws that the Administration proposes. That said, I'm all for supporting our men and women in the military... especially since this Administration talks tough about a strong defense, but is abysmal at things like providing body armor to our soldiers and taking care of those who are injured and their families.

Today Proceed At Your Own Risk takes note of the latest way those who have served have had to raise money to take care of wounded soldiers and their families when Uncle Sam lets them down -- the America's Heroes beefcake calendar.
Now I love beef as much as, if not more than, your average gay man. I love hot military guys even more. That said, how incredibly sad is it when our soldiers have to peddle a beefcake calendar to pay for medical expenses, transportation to funerals, and the like? Somehow I don't think that this is what all the people with the yellow "I Support Our Troops" ribbons on their cars had in mind. Of course, throw in the fact that had these guys gone completely nude they'd face a court marshall. Criticism of the government aside, if you're gonna buy a beefcake calendar, might as well buy one that supports a good cause.

Why I Love ASU

Avast! A Pirate for Congress!

I know International Talk Like a Pirate Day be last month, but here be some good pirate news for ye, me hearties. Though Iowa might seem like nothing but a breeding ground for landlubbers, thar be pirates there! And one of our own be running for Congress. Aye, James Hill be running as an Independent in Iowa's First District. Hill proudly proclaims that he is "the only drunken Pirate seeking office in this great nation." What would Hill do if elected?

"I would have your wife right in front of you. I would smoke the last of your glaucoma medication. Then I will surely drink your liquor cabinet dry. However, know this my friend. I will never break an oath to uphold the public trust. My affidavit will be signed in my own blood. A Pirates crimson mark, with real binding effects into my after life. Laugh if you will then ask yourself if you could do it."

Yarrrrrrr! That be a pirate after me own heart... except for the whole sleepin' with a wench part.

Work

Sorry I've been MIA this past week. Long story short, I started a new legal project for a company with offices in Scottsdale. This should last through the end of the year. I have to say that this couldn't have come at a better time -- my project at AmEx ended at the end of February and I had basically run out of creative ways to find enough cash to pay my bills every month. While I would have preferred to find a permanent position (which is what I had been looking for), so far I've liked the company I'm working with -- much more so than AmEx. I did a little checking and was quite pleased to find that the company includes sexual orientation in its non-discrimination policy. Today is my first Monday here -- I started last Tuesday -- so I'm just starting to get settled. Anyway, though its taking me a little bit to get used to being full-time again, its a welcome adjustment. Hopefully this will be something that can open a door to something more permanent.

Paul Rudd!

Sorry I've been MIA this week - I just started a new legal project and am making the adjustment to being back to work full time. I should be back on track next week. To keep you occupied, I leave you with Paul Rudd, next to whom I'd be more than happy waking up every day. Thanks He Who Laughs (via Towleroad)

Fave Episodes - No. 1

No. 1 - Downloaded

I bet you thought I would come up with something Helo-related, right? Its nice to be able to throw people a curve sometimes.

In a brilliant stroke of cosmic justice, let me introduce -- the Baltar clone! Yes, I love to hate Baltar. But what if he had a spine, a conscience, and a rapier wit to go along with his technical brilliance? Essentially, you'd have the Baltar clone. The Baltar clone is everything that Baltar isn't - but without the religious sanctimoniousness of the Six clone.

For a quick review, Six has just been downloaded to a new body after the annihilation of Caprica. When she awakens, she's greeted by the Baltar clone. Like her human counterpart, she's told that only she can see him and needs to keep his existance a secret. Later, Six, now known as Caprica Six, is enlisted to aid in the reintegration of the original Sharon, who has recently been downloaded after she died following her attempt on Adama's life.

What I love about this episode isn't just the symmetry and justice of having a Baltar that haunts Six the way he's haunted, its his style in so doing. For example, when Six and Sharon discuss why Three has put them together, Baltar responds, "Oh, it's so perfectly obvious. You know, for a self-aware cybernetic life-form, sometimes you can be unbearably obtuse." Just masterful.

Where the Six clone is a club beating the real Baltar into submission, either through ranting about God's will, threats or sexual manipulation, the Baltar clone is all finesse. When Six is injured in the blast at the cafe, Three offers to finish her off to save her from suffering, allowing her to be downloaded into a new body. Instead of threats and ranting, Baltar uses a bit of verse to get his way:

"Life is short, but the next one's not.
Let your heart adrift and your soul will get caught."

Now THAT is an episode.

Fave Characters - No. 1

No. 1 - Karl Agathon (Helo)

I know he's not as pretty as Apollo and he's in love with a Cylon, but how can you NOT love Helo? He's big and hunky but more importantly, he's strong, loyal and still manages to be emotionally available, as well as committed to Sharon, despite that she's a crazed Cylon who is prone to severe emotional outbursts. Dump her, Helo, you know we'd be great together!

Fave Characters - No. 2

No. 2 - Laura Roslin

You have to hand it to Roslin - the former Secretary of Education has shown a tremendous amount of strength. Indeed, when the Pegasus returned, Adm. Cain derided her as just "a schoolteacher." Roslin responded by convincing Adama to assasinate her. Just goes to show that you do not want to mess with her. At the same time, she is still a woman of principle - even though she was facing defeat at the polls due to New Caprica, she refused to allow the election to be fixed, despite her strong feeling that colonization would be disasterous. Even though she was right, she still pushes on. You go, girl!

Fave Episodes - No. 2

No. 2 - Home pt. 2

Ok, this one is a logical step forward from the last one -- Starbuck, Sharon & Helo return back from Caprica; Adama returns to Kobol to put the fleet back together and mend fences with Apollo and Roslin; the new Sharon demonstrates to Adama that she can be trusted by not shooting him and shooting Zarek's mutineous henchman, Meier, who had plotted to kill Adama, Roslin and Apollo. To boot, they find the Tomb of Athena and use the Arrow of Apollo to reveal the map to Earth. Oh, and by the way, Sharon gets some nice reconnect time with her previous copy's love, Chief Tyrol. Its one big happy family.

Marc's Midweek Shirtless Video Beef Haiku

I need to be free
to show myself to the world.
Pass the baby oil!

Fave Chars - Nos. 3 & 4

No. 4 - William Adama
&
No. 3 - Lee Adama

I suppose its fitting to talk about Adm. Adama and Apollo in the same entry -- one of the primary dynamics of these two at the beginning is Apollo being the Commander's son... Apollo has a big chip on his shoulder through the first season every time he talked with his father, which I think many of us can relate to... I sure know I can.

Speaking of Adama, you've got to hand it to the guy - he's loyal, strong, principled... I'm waiting to see him and Roslin go at it.


On Apollo, how can you not love the golden boy? Ok, so he was having a relationship with a prostitute and he ends up with Dualla... nobody's perfect, right? Its the flaws that make him more lovable. And those shots of him in the towel...

Foley-gate

Fave Episodes - No. 3

No. 3 - Kobol's Last Gleaming pt. 2

A quick recap of the part 1 for everybody - a scouting patrol has found its way back to Kobol - the legendary birthplace of the colonies. Pres. Roslin has instructed Starbuck to return to Caprica to retrieve the Arrow of Apollo. (We all know Starbuck wants Apollo's "arrow," right? I sure can't blame her!) Helo has found out that Caprica Sharon is really a Cylon and shoots her, though she survives.

In this episode, Starbuck takes the Cylon Raider and jumps back to Caprica, sparking a full fledged blowup between Roslin and Adama, with Adama attempting to terminate Roslin's presidency. Roslin, of course, refuses. Adama then moves to arrest Roslin on Colonial One.

Back on Caprica, Helo and Caprica Sharon find their way to the museum where the Arrow of Apollo is kept. Sharon declares her love for Helo and reveals that she is pregnant. Starbuck arrives only to be confronted by a Six. Catfight ensues. Six beats the crap out of Starbuck but she manages to stab Six and kill her, at which point Helo and Sharon find her.

Boomer is sent on a mission to blow up a starbase near Kobol, finds out that she really is a Cylon when she meets copies of herself, and once she returns to Galactica ends up shooting Adama. Any questions?

Anyway, what I love about this episode is the mythology that emerges and the conflict that comes to a head between Adama and Roslin. Of course, would you expect anything less from a season finale?