Editing

There are many who say that the trick to life all comes down to editing -- that is, its not so much what happens, but the meaning we choose to place on those events. What they forget to tell you is that at the moments you need it the most, receiving that advice has to be one of the most annoying experiences one could possibly have. In fact, the same remains true even when you're telling YOURSELF. It makes no difference. I'd smack the living crap out of myself if I wasn't averse to pain.

That said, this video fits in with that scheme and it made me smile a little.

Grating

Its Sunday and I'm feeling like I'm ready to kill anything that moves. Decided to watch The Bourne Identity to take my mind off things. Thank God for Netflix. Its helped, actually. My urge to kill has diminished and I'm actually communicating somewhat. Watching Matt Damon has the tendency to calm me.

That said, there's one little problem. Franka Potente. She plays Marie in the movie and I don't know what it is about her but she annoys the living crap out of me.

For Whom The Cat Tolls

Unless you've been living in a cardboard box recently, I'm sure you're familiar with the whole LOLCats phenomenon. Today's article in CNN left me inspired to create my own. Apparently Oscar the cat knows when you're gonna die! Oscar lives in a Providence nursing home and curls up next to patients who are close to death. In fact, a visit from Oscar means that you have less than four hours left to live. Personally, I think that's much better than a stupid picture of a cat in a refrigerator.

In The End

we all bear the scars
yeah, we all feign a laugh
we all cry in the dark
get cut off before we start

and as your first act begins
you realise they're all waiting
for a fall, for a flaw, for the end

and there's a past stained with tears
could you talk to quiet my fears
could you pull me aside
just to acknowledge that i've tried

as your last breath begins
contently take it in
cause we all get it in
the end

and as your last breath begins
you find your demon's your best friend
and we all get it in

the end

"In The End"
- Scott Matthew

(Video is NSFW)

Off To San Diego!

Heading to SD for Pride. Back soon!

Some Things Are Universal

Close your eyes and picture this -- you're an organization trying to good. How about donating laptops to a primary school in Nigeria. Splendid. Give these underprivileged kids a chance to learn and explore the joys of the Internet. Apparently these Nigerian school kids are using their laptops as God intended... to view porn. According to the Nigerian News Agency, "Efforts to promote learning with laptops in a primary school in Abuja have gone awry as the pupils freely browse adult sites with explicit sexual materials."

Sounds like the kids are have learned the basics very quickly.

Marc's Midweek 'On Fire' Beef Haiku

He could be on fire,
I feel the heat. Hey fireman,
let me see your hose!

Update

I'm never really sure how many people follow this blog closely, but maybe you've noticed I've been a little quiet. I guess that's always been one of my big questions about blogging, and life in general, to be honest -- just how much of my real self and my life do I share? Should I just glide along the surface and put up more pictures of hot guys or talk about politics or music or do I try to perform and attempt to be funny or witty?

Anyway, last month I had interviewed for a position I was really excited about -- for those of you who have read for a while or know a little about me personally, you know my career saga has been a real struggle for a while. I think a big chunk of that is because I've come to realize that I'm not someone who is satisfied with a job that's just about making money. I've had plenty of moments where I wish I could do that, but I really need to care about what I'm doing. I'm a passionate person and in the bigger picture, that's something I really like about myself.

So, I had interviewed for this position and felt pretty good about it. A few weeks later, they asked me for a second interview. They've gotta like you if they ask you for a second interview, right? I came out of that second interview sky high. I've never felt that good after an interview and I drove home thinking that it was finally time for things to fall into place. Well, a funny thing happened -- things didn't fall into place. Such a strange combination -- to feel like they loved me and yet having things fall apart yet again.

I suppose the stranger thing is knowing that this juxtaposition of "YES!" and "NO!" have shown up in my life a lot in the past few years. It seems like the stronger I feel about something the more issues it brings up. While I was disappointed to be sure, the truth was that it wasn't a crushing blow by many things. Rather, I had this odd sense of detachment -- as I've mentioned before, I've seen this situation come up over and over again, which tells you the truth of things. I could bitch about the unfairness of it all, but I can't really escape the reality that as much as I wanted that job, or the relationship I couldn't have, or whatever, there's this part of me that really didn't believe I deserved them. That's a hard thing to admit, at least in my book.

That said, what I came to realize was just how much of an issue this has been -- how much my self doubt has plagued things throughout my life. So much of the time its been working behind the scenes -- I could feel its effects but never quite understood its scope. Since I've had that realization, I've had the opportunity to pull the beliefs that supported it and understood where they came from. What's more, I've had the chance to start the healing I've needed for a long time. I know I still have work to do the big difference is that even while nothing has changed on the outside, for the first time, things finally feel like they're right where they're supposed to be.

SAVE PENIS!

Shirley Bassey -- God Bless Her!

More Than Meets The Eye

I ignored the reviews that panned it and suggested that Michael Bay had ruined any possible merit the movie possibly could have had. I stood in the concessions line with a talkative, soon-to-be 6th grader who remarked that I was pretty cool. By the time I made it back to my seat (next to Alex), the theater had run twice the amount of previews, so I was fortunate not to have missed a thing.

As the opening credits rolled, it was abundantly clear that the child I once was still hangs around this head of mine. I haven't been this giddy over something not involving a possible romantic interest in a long, long time (although Josh Duhamel was SO hot). Now I remember watching Fellowship of the Ring for the first time in a state of wonder -- it was another world, one I had read about back in high school. This was something even more basic -- a piece of of childhood come to life. I wasn't the only one, as the guy sitting next to me -- a 30-something father -- remarked with glee that they used the original voice of Optimus Prime.

What can I say? I loved every minute of this movie. I want to see it again. I want a sequel. I'm feeling this urge to go out to Toys R Us and buy the toys. And somewhere, the kid in me is opening presents on Christmas Eve to find exactly what he was hoping for... and he is happy... very, very happy.

Damn, That's Nice...

I've mentioned recently that I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Its not like there's anything truly catastrophic going on -- to the contrary, its like things have been kind of blah for a while. That's not to say things couldn't stand some improvement, but its been painfully obvious that the only thing that's really going to turn things around here is a change in attitude. So, today I've been trying to find things around me to appreciate. There are your old standards: family, friends, health, blah blah blah. Yes, I'm thankful for all those, but what about the good stuff? (That's a joke, k?) So, leave it to my good friend Alex to provide me with something I can really appreciate. I don't know where they grow these veal, but I hope they keep em coming.

Where's An Ark When You Need One?

The tiki god is angry again. Last time, in a fit of liberal pique, the tiki god had caused Hurricane Katrina in order to punish America for its mistreatment of black Americans. This time, the tiki god has gone back to his old conservative ways and caused some floods in the UK in order to punish Her Majesty's subjects for their decadent ways.

Rev. Jerry Falwell... er, I mean, Rev. Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle, explained that the tiki god is angry... VERY ANGRY:

"In the Bible, institutional power is referred to as 'the beast', which sets itself up to control people and their morals. Our government has been playing the role of God in saying that people are free to act as they want."

Free will? As if. TIKI GOD MUST BE OBEYED! TIKI GOD SMASH!

Of course, it all gets back to The Gays: "The sexual orientation regulations [which give greater rights to gays] are part of a general scene of permissiveness. We are in a situation where we are liable for God's judgment, which is intended to call us to repentance."

TIKI GOD HATE DISCO DANCING AND METROSEXUALS!

Plans to appease the tiki god by throwing several virgins into the fires of the holy volcano are currently in the works.

'The Gays' Made Me Flunk The Bar!

The Gays are at it again... the scene? Massachusetts. In particular, the Bar Exam, where The Gays caused Stephen Dunne to fail the bar exam. Sinister, aren't we? Dunne missed the minimum passing score of 270 by less than 2 points -- scoring 268.866. So just how did The Gays commit their latest dastardly deed? Was it the swarm of drag queens heckling him during the exam? Gay mafiosos who secretly spritzed his answers with Abercrombie cologne? The Queer Eye guys refused to give him his makeover prior to the exam? No, the culprit is gay marriage. Not only is it destroying heterosexual marriage, but its stopping good Christians from being lawyers, too.

So I know what you're thinking... if some homosexuals were having one of our perverted marriage ceremonies in the middle of the hall where the bar exam was being conducted, I can see where that might be a distraction. I mean, who has time to wait in the buffet line and finish all the questions, right? There's your two points right there. But for those couple of wine spritzers and this guy would have sailed through.

Ok, here's the kicker. There wasn't actually a gay marriage going on during the middle exam. Rather, there was a question on the exam about gay marriage... in Massachusetts... where gay marriage is legal. Boy, I would have never have seen that one coming. According to Dunne, the question required him to "affirmatively accept, support and promote homosexual marriage and homosexual parenting." Yes, I can picture the question now:

"Do you affirmatively accept, support and promote homosexual marriage and parenting?"

Yes, I remember plenty of questions like that on the Bar.

Dunne alleges that the Bar Examiners violated his free exercise of religion, along with several other novel claims. Fortunately for straight America, Mr. Dunne has figured out our dastardly plot... and we would have gotten away with it too... if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

(via Pam's House Blend)