Creatures of the Deep pt. 2

Perhaps there are some who thought the "Balrog" entry from a couple of days ago was a bit alarmist, but there are many reasons to fear the creatures of the deep...

Legends of "vagina dentata" have been around for years, but a South African company has been working hard to bring the legend into reality! The "Rapex" female condom was designed to combat sexual assault by giving would be attackers a little more than they bargained for. I've told guys to mind their teeth before, so I can hardly imagine what's in store for them.

What other horrors lie in the murky deep? Beware the tampon tazer! That's right, 50,000 volts go along with that easy glide applicator. Every straight man who's asked a woman if she's "on the rag" has reason to fear the Pink Stinger.

Let's Get Soaking Wet!

Here passes the last day in April. That means summer is almost upon us, which means scantily clad beeves in water. God bless them, one and all. Thanks to the Daily Dish for the pic (and insightful political commentary)!

Mechanically Seperated Chicken

That Aunt Barbara, always looking out for our nutritional needs.

Creatures of the Deep!

This has to be one of the funniest things I have seen in a long, long time. From Obsidian Wings -- Its as if he's journeyed into the deepest, darkest fears inside my mind... Adam will certainly attest to that. Of course, I've never had the wit to come up with anything close to being this clever on the subject. Still, I know truth when I see it!

Snake In The Grass

Ok, ok, I know I said I was taking a break from the blog, but I couldn't resist this one. So Arizona's a rather odd place with odd people. Is it any more odd than any other state in the Union? Don't know, but stories like this make me wonder.

The Arizona Republic is reporting that a 40-year old Glendale man has been jailed for coating a puppy in cooking oil and feeding it to his boa constrictor. All would be well but for a couple of 15 year old boys who watched him do it. It sounds like an episode of Scooby Doo... "And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"

Planet Unicorn

Ok, I know I said I was taking a break, but how can I resist a video about an 8 year old gay boy wishing for a planet full of unicorns?

Blush & Bashful

A friend of mine is having an enormous party next month -- a huge production that should be lots of fun. The big thing is that everyone is supposed to wear pink. A lot of people will go the high fashion route, but that is SO not my style. So, I decided to add a bit of zest to the project by making my own shirt for the occasion. I doubt there will be even one gay man at the party who doesn't look at me with envy when they see it...

Hanging On!

Just a quick word of thanks for those of you who have commented on Monday's entry. I'm doing ok, just trying to ride out some of the rapids that life has sometimes. Its one of those things where sometimes you need those bumps to help shake things loose. I'll talk about it more when things settle down a bit.

Welcome Phoenix's Newest Gay Resident

Phoenix may not have a "gayborhood" like Philly's newly designated district, but we're a magnet for the gays nonetheless. Case in point, Ted Haggard, formerly of Colorado Springs, has recently made the move to the city. You may or may not remember but there was a little bit of a buzz about some meth and a gay escort. Sounds like he'll be hanging out over at Crusing on 7th, if that's his crowd. Then again, if he's coming from Colorado Springs, I suspect he'll be more inclined toward Charlie's.

Disco Lives!

I wonder if I can find a remix of this... that would be FIERCE. I know the guy calls it a "rap" but that's a disco beat if I ever heard one... Its almost a little scary -- the guy's eyes bug right out of his head. I almost expect them to pop right out!

Blue Monday

Ok, the weekend didn't go as well as I would have liked. In fact, I've been having a shitty couple of days. What, I ask, could make me feel better? Beef, of course. Hence, the beef to your right. What else? Alcohol. In fact, I think I'll have another drink.

Ready To Fly

Just in time for Phoenix Pride, its my newest CD, Ready to Fly!

Marc's Midweek Veal in Spring Haiku

Winter is over,
In Spring the shirtless veal take
their place in the sun!

Job hunting Eats Ass

Apparently the Germans really do understand what a job search is really like. May my job search be over very soon!

(from BoingBoing).

Cooking for Heroin Addicts

Breakfast time for a heroin addict can be challenging. If, perchance, the body makes a point that it needs food rather than more drugs, what exactly does one do to satisfy this essential human need? With recipes and all the accessories one normally needs -- like a kitchen, stove, cookware, etc., cooking can have a countless number of complications and pitfalls. What's a junkie supposed to do if he's really jonesing for some pancakes?

Fortunately, I was recently directed to a website that is geared to the junkie audience and understands the modalities one would need for a successful breakfast. Instead of some obscure, confusing recipe to follow, you get a step by step visual guide to follow that will help you make perfect flapjacks every time. The only thing you're going to have to learn on your own? Portion control.


(Thanks to Andrew Sullivan for pointing me in the right direction!)

Reflections

Ok, I'll admit that I bitch about what's not going "right" in my life as much as anybody else. Maybe I don't say it out loud to everyone else, but I bitch. Sometimes I won't even say it to myself, but I can feel it in the pit of my stomach -- why the fuck is my life the way it is?

Currently the job search has raised its ugly head yet again. I've asked myself why the hell I'm going through this again -- I'd have thought that I'd have had my fill of it in the past 3 years or so. So, I stop and howl at the big, bad Universe, "Why, oh why am I here again? Why do you impose such horrible things upon me?" I listen for an answer, but there's no response.

I know the truth of the matter though, even if I don't like the answer -- deep down, things are the way I want them to be... at least at some level. Like with the whole job thing -- if I'm honest with myself I know that I have VERY good reasons for not wanting to go back to the kinds of jobs I've had before. Even if I had a job that I loved, I think that scares me even more -- growing up I remember viewing work as something that kept my parents away. Especially my Dad. I remember feeling like so much of the time that work came first and the family came a distant second. For myself, life as an attorney was not fun -- plenty of late nights at the office, weekends as well. Coming home late and exhausted only to go to sleep for a few hours and start the cycle all over again.

Whether its been law or counseling or anything in between, I've felt like that's just they price I'd have to pay to be working at the level I need to work at. So, I suppose its no surprise that I've found ways to avoid that happening. I'm good, I know. Now that I know that stuff is there, its a matter of learning to believe there's another way... as opposed to resigning myself to live life in the grind.

Cream of Wheat

I don't know why and I don't know what it means but last night I dreamt of Cream of Wheat. It was never the type of thing I was thrilled about eating when I was younger -- growing up I was never much of a breakfast person, but I vividly remember Cream of Wheat starring prominently in the dream. Not much more than that. Just Cream of Wheat.

Marc's Midweek 'Pullin It' Beef Haiku

Relax. There are times
even a large beef has no
choice but to pull it.

My Humps

Ok, I've made no question of my distain for a lot of Top 40/hip hop/R&B stuff that's in the spotlight. Alanis Morissette has come out with this cover of The Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps." Personally, I thought it was a great bit of commentary on the absurdity of the original. I especially like the convertible Mini Cooper in the background in some of the shots.