Marc's Midweek Trainwreck Beef Haiku

Just because you're beef
doesn't mean that you're immune
to laws of good taste.
(via Towleroad)

Marc's Midweek Fashion Faux Pas Beef Haiku

Without guidance from
Abercrombie catalogue:
Beef wears neon shorts.

Echeblog Election 2008

Its election time, as if you didn't already know that. As much as I'm hoping Obama will become this country's next President, there are more pressing issues at hand. Specifically -- who is in line to be my husband. And so, I'm presenting Echeblog Election 2008! You guys will get to pick who you think would be the best fantasy husband for me. So, I now present the candidates!

Brady Quinn
For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Brady (the one on the right) and I both attended the University of Notre Dame, though not at the same time. We're both Scorpios as well and that could either mean we're able to understand each other on a very deep level or it might be a recipe for disaster.

Michael Churchill
Ok, he's from New Jersey but he looks like he could have been one of the several hot Mormon kids I grew up with turned beef. The crystal blue eyes and blond fuzz stretched over the flawless chest pretty much embody every Junior High and High School fantasy I ever had. I don't know a damn thing about this guy, but with a face like that, does it really matter?

Gage Wilson
Ok, he's from Sean Cody and supposedly straight, but a) he's still having sex with guys and b) we're allowed to delete those
inconvenient details in an exercise like this.

Ben Browder
I didn't want you guys thinking that I was only going for the 20-something ones in this. Ah, Bens!

Jake Gyllenhaal
I love the beard, Jakey! I definitely think you traded up when you left Kirsten for Reese, but now its time to leave behind these foolish games and settle down with the right guy.

Let the campaigning begin!

Post Christmas Friday BBB

More Beef Discrimination

This just in from Sweden -- Beef talks to woman, bad things ensue. The woman happened to be a police office and she decided that the beef was just too big to be all natural and decided to haul him into the police station. "Despite [his] assurances that he didn't use steroids, she forced him to go to the police station and give a urine test. In her report, the officer said he had 'unusually large muscles, particularly large arm muscles, which are a sign of steroid use.'"

Blatant beef discrimination. The test was negative -- just like our beef said it would be. He filed a complaint against the officer but the prosecutors decided not to pursue it. A miscarriage of justice! This blatant and senseless beef discrimination must stop.

How Big Is Too Big?

Adam says "Yes." I say, "Definitely not."

Hey You -- No Grunting!

Is nothing sacred?

In an effort to cut down on so-called "musclehead behavior," Planet Fitness of Wappingers Falls, N.Y. has instituted a strict "no grunting" policy, including a flashing light and siren that sounds when someone grunts or drops weights. "We're creating an atmosphere that's not intimidating," said Carol Palazzolo, the gym manager.

According to a local report, they're serious about it, too. Palazzolo called police to eject a member who violated the grunting restrictions. Al Argibay, the grunter in question, apparently was performing a squats when the incident occurred -- "I let out a grunt, squatted down, back up, grunt again. That's it. Basically, grunt, grunt, basic breathing in heavy, and breathing out."

Apparently, Palazzolo confronted Argibay about the forbidden grunting. Their accounts differ at this point -- Palazzolo alleges that Argibay became irate and swore at her. Argibay denies those charges. What isn't disputed is that Palazzolo called police to have Argibay removed from the gym. Planet Fitness recently revoked Argibay's membership.

Through it all, Palazzolo isn't backing down -- "If he feels I hurt his feelings, I apologize for that, but I do not apologize for the way I handled the situation and I am not apologizing for our etiquette at Planet Fitness."

This sounds like beef discrimination to me, no question. I'm no beef, but I'm willing to show solidarity to make sure beeves are treated fairly and with respect.