Post Christmas Friday BBB

Optimus Sez:

(Thanks, Alex!)

Merry Christmas

Friday BBB pt. 3

Decemberween Dinner

Last night I attended our annual Decemberween dinner with Adam, Dyanna, Kacy and the Greg, Miguel & Renee, Renee's rack, and Michael Bojangles. This year featured something new -- very spicy food at Thai Hut. Unfortunately, we didn't offend anyone at the restaurant, although there was a guy who looked like Santa who asked if Adam's brownies were hash brownies. Sadly, the answer was no.

Among the general festiveness of the occasion and the remarks that we really should get together more often, we also had a White Elephant gift exchange. While a pure White Elephant exchange, in my opinion, should consists of gifts that nobody wants -- after all, that's what the term White Elephant means -- our group of gifts was truly pitiful. It included the ugliest slippers known to mankind, a star-shaped cookie cutter filled with nasty dried gunk, a game involving shocking people with electric current ("Don't taze me, bro!") as well as candles that smelled like urinal cakes.

Apparently I was the only one who thought that the gifts should have SOME sort of appealing features. Kacy was the lucky recipient of my gift - a Christmas edition of the legendary Pop Art toaster. Yes, nothing says fun like toast with stuff written on it. Just because I know you were wondering, yes they do have plates that will make your toast say "Bite Me" as well as "boys r smelly." You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Really, the Pop Art toaster is the perfect gift for all occasions... ok, for maybe the one event where its not appropriate you can go with its sister product -- the 5 in 1 Tasty Baker.

How do I know that the Pop Art toaster is the perfect gift? Two words for you -- celebrity endorsements. Charlie Sheen loves his Pop Art toaster. Kevin Sorbo does too. I know what you're thinking, though -- both Charlie Sheen and Kevin Sorbo have kids. What about for us gays? Don't worry, Pop Art has you covered. Neil Patrick Harris loves his Pop Art toaster. If its good enough for Doogie Howser, M.D., you know its appropriate for any of your A-List gay functions. I'm telling you, 2008 is the year that the Pop Art toaster hits the White Party and becomes THE sought after item on the Circuit.

Marc's Midweek Christmas Beef Haiku

Twelve days of Christmas?
I don't want five golden rings,
just one daddy beef!

Canta Conmigo

Ok, I'm not a big fan of the Blue Man Group. They've always seemed too gimmicky for me and by the Lords of Kobol they did Intel commercials. How many more strikes against them can they get? They came out with a cover of Donna Summer's I Feel Love with Annette Strean from Venus Hum doing vocals. I didn't really care for it as I felt Strean's vocals didn't quite fit... and because the Dallas Superstars had done a recent version that worked better. Aside from that, I've tended to ignore them.

So I happened to stop by Charlie's on Friday night and was surprised to hear a track that really fits the kind of sound I've been evolving into... and it happened to be Canta Conmigo (Funky Junction Spanish Vocal Mix) from the Blue Man Group. Color me surprised.

After listening to the track many times in the past 24 hours and a bit of internet research, I discovered that the song was a latinized rework of a track they had done with Dave Matthews, who I've always loved. Definitely tracks that are on my playlist now.

Contrast and Clarity

I confess that over the past year I've questioned myself and wondered if I was moving in the right direction. I've tried to keep faith that things are progressing as they should but many times its seemed like maybe I was going backward.

A year ago I was at a job that I felt pretty good about with hopes that they would want to keep me on a permanent basis, I had my residency at Miami, as well as a guy in my sights that I felt was really special and the hope that things between us could develop. Exactly one year later, delete all three. You can see where I might have come up with the idea that maybe things were going in reverse. Its rare that the Universe gives me such a clear measuring stick as tonight to show me the truth of things -- that I really am on the right track.

Flash back one year ago this morning--
It had been a long night. After a night of holiday celebration I had gone to Charlie's with a friend to finish the evening. We had run into the object of my affection and while we had a good few moments together to talk and I had gotten that sense of connection that I just don't get from anyone else, I was still battling the truth that things just weren't progressing the way I had hoped. My friend, trying to be helpful in that very drunk sort of way, had mentioned that he thought he had seen him at Charlie's the week before macking on someone. Though I was under no illusion that we were any more than friends, hearing this was more than I could bear. As I made my way home, angry and very hurt, I narrowly missed a collision in front of me on the freeway. Though I managed to get out of it physically unharmed, Anderson, my beloved MINI Cooper, was not so lucky. As I would later find out, he was damaged beyond repair. I made the dreaded late night call to my parents to come pick me up and spent the morning on the phone with the insurance company, though most of the time I just kept wondering how I could have let myself get so out of control.

And now the present day--
Its as though I got the chance to replay the night. A night of holiday festivities ended at Charlie's, though I usually avoid the place. I thought I would get through the evening unscathed, he was there with his boyfriend, who I've known about for about 6 months or so. Again, we had a few moments to to talk, that sense of connection I don't get from anyone else... I've spent a lot of time coming to terms with the reality that things just never went the way I would have liked and I've tried to convince myself that I was over him... but truth is that in my heart I wish I could wave my magic wand and make things change so that we could be together... but its hard to ignore his boyfriend staring me in the face... especially after his boyfriend remarks that we kind of look alike in some ways.

And though I wish I could say that I saw him and was delighted that my feelings had changed and that it was clear that I had moved on, it still hurts. Yet confronted with what I had been trying to avoid for a very long time, Nigel (the new MINI Cooper) and I made our way home safely, calmly (if a little heartbroken) and somewhat appreciative that I got to see him and thankful that he seems happy.

Even though there are many things in my life I would love to change -- the love and relationship I've always wanted, the kind of work I've been seeking, the rebirth of my DJing career -- this night has really highlighted just how far I've come. Perhaps its cliché and I get tired of hearing it let alone telling myself, but I know that this whole process has been an exercise in coming to find myself and that deep self-appreciation I had lacked. While I've wished that it would show up in my external world, perhaps I'm finally to know instead of just trying to believe that in the face of everything I've lost, I've really come to find more than I ever have before.

Friday BBB pt. 2

Ok, I'm one of those people who's usually all about the smile. A good smile can really turn a guy who isn't quite as attractive into something special. That said, every rule has an exception.

Some guys are just made to sneer.

A Classic Moment

Moderator: Senator Obama... with relatively little foreign policy experience of your own, how will you rely on so many Clinton advisers and still deliver kind of the break from the past you're promising voters?

Hillary Clinton: (laughing) I want to hear that...

Obama: Hillary, I'm looking forward to you advising me as well.

For Gary W.

powered by ODEO
There you go
Flashing fever from your eyes
Hey babe, come over here and shut down tight
I'm not denying
We're flying above it all
Hold my hand, don't let me fall
You've such amazing grace
I've never felt this way

Show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Show me heaven please

Here I go
I'm shaking just like breeze
Hey babe I need your hand to steady me
I'm not denying
I'm frightened as much as you
Though I'm barely touching you
I've shivers down my spine
And it feels divine

Show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Show me heaven please

If you know what it's like
To dream a dream
Baby hold me tight
And let this be your...heaven

Cover me
Leave me breathless
Show me heaven please

We know you'll always be with us, Gary.

Marc's Midweek Lazy Beef Haiku

Its cold and rainy,
that's all the day will bring.
Beef just stays in bed!

Your Bitch Loves Cock!

Ah, penis shaped dog biscuits. The people at Del Monte are BRILLIANT.

(Via Dyanna at Hoork.)

Huh?

Its a very simple question... Hillary Clinton, why do you want to be President?

"I think I have the best chance to win and I think I would be the best president. Whoever we nominate is going to have to be prepared to run a vigorous campaign against the full array of the Republican attack machine. I have been vetted for 15 years. You know everything about me probably including my blood type and there aren’t going to be any surprises. And I know what it takes to run against Republicans who are coming at you full bore and I know what it takes to beat them.

You know, when I ran for the Senate in 2000 I had a very vigorous campaign. I ran first against Mayor Giuliani and then he dropped out and then I ran against a young congressman who had the full force of the Republican party behind him. Between him and former Mayor Giuliani they raised and outspent me two to one. They ran ads against me accusing me of everything.

But I know what it takes to stand your ground and defeat Republicans and I have a track record that proves that. Nobody else has been through it in the way I have been through it. And I think it’s going to be important to have somebody who will be ready immediately in the campaign to stand up and fight back.

Secondly, for 35 years I have been working in the private sector, the advocacy world, as well as the public sector, on a broad range of experience that I think has given me the insight and understanding about how our country works and that will equip me to deal with the full range of problems we’re going to face.

And uniquely I have eight years of being in the White House as part of a presidential team working on issues from healthcare to welfare reform, to changing our adoption and foster care system, to representing our country around the world in more than 80 countries.

And it’s impossible to describe how difficult this job is on a daily basis because in the modern world it’s getting harder and harder because the demands are greater and you’ve got all kinds of incoming pressures every single minute of every single day.

And I have the experience now of having been on the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue when I won that first race for the Senate, much to everyone’s surprise who said that I wouldn’t. And then I went to work for the people who sent me to the Senate, the people of New York, to get results for them, to bring economic development to rural areas, to work with the family farms – we have 34,000 of them in New York – to bring broadband to rural areas, to look for ways to improve the lives of the people I represented. So that when I ran again I was re-elected with 67 per cent of the vote, in Republican areas as well as Democratic areas.

So my range of experience is broader and deeper and I think well equips me for doing the tough job we have to have done starting as soon as you’re inaugurated. We’re not going to have any time to waste, we’re not going to have any margin for error and I believe that I can be the president that we need starting on January 20th 2009 and I hope you’ll look at my website and look at what I’m proposing and keep your mind open. Thank you.”

Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.

Renee Loves Chachi

Ok, I haven't posted anything in a few days, and its been a while since I've said anything about something besides beeves. At last, I've found something worthy of my attention...

Scott Baio got married. I know what you're thinking... he's looking a little rough. Hey, he's 45 and took care of those kids on Charles In Charge for YEARS. He deserves some happiness.

So I was doing some light research for this entry... which is really just reading the Wikipedia entry on him. Anyway, aside from him dating several famous models and actresses like Heather Locklear, Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson, as well as getting banned from the Playboy Mansion, apparently he lost his virginity to Erin Moran. I guess Joanie really did love Chachi.

Anyway, lots of love to Scott and don't worry, I'm sure plenty of the gays will keep their Happy Days fantasies alive in their hearts forever.

Friday BBB pt. 1

Dunno who he is... but that's one damn fine beef.

Marc's Midweek Bottled Water Beef Haiku

Bottled water? Who
would take such a wasteful beef?
Yeah, I guess I would.

Not A Shocker

I try to keep the celebrity stuff to a minimum here -- its not really my bag and there are plenty of people who can do a better job, but I just couldn't resist this...

Ah, Jesse, its about time.

(Ok, for the record, he's not really coming out... yet.)

Patrick Stewart's Guide To Beautiful Bald Beeves

Ok, I went out last night and realized that while I've had many beeves on this blog over the past several years, its time for me to do a tribute to the BBBs - "Beautiful Bald Beeves." So, in the immortal words of Jean Luc Picard, "Make it so."

Francois Sagat
Definitely someone who's gotten much hotter over the brief time he's been in the spotlight -- the beard really works for him. A pity that he's not blogging anymore -- I'm the type that likes to see the person behind the hotness and Francois showed off some of his other talents (graphic design, in particular) that I really enjoyed. I know some people don't like the head tattoo, but there's plenty else to enjoy. Much love to Sagat, who even scored his own haiku.

Luke Garrett
OMFGBBQ! This man is SO incredibly fine. He's my height and pure beef but also has a great vibe about him, at least from what I've seen (never had the pleasure of meeting him). I'd almost be willing to sell one of my turntables for a night with Luke... almost. In fact, he kind of reminds me of a guy that used to live here in Phoenix several years ago -- another hot bald musclebeef that was quite friendly. There was an episode with a hot tub that I won't go into detail on (I ain't geekslut, y'all) but suffice it to say that it was quite a cherished memory and the first thing he mentioned to me the next time I saw him about six months later.

Ty LeBeouf
A newcomer to the scene, Ty actually reminds me of a straight friend from a few years ago... except he wasn't inked, muscled, tan and frequently naked. I haven't seen much of him yet, though much like Luke Garrett, I also get a good vibe from Ty -- like after a night of hot, sweaty pig sex he'd be good to fall asleep next to and end up wakin you up with a sweet kiss in the morning... and then maybe another round of hot, sweaty pig sex. Heh. Also, I know Alex likes em inked, so it'll be interesting to hear him chime in.

World AIDS Day 2007