Goodbye 2006!

Here's a nice beef with which to send off 2006 in what will likely be my last entry for the year. (Unless I change my mind.) Enjoy and have a great New Year's Eve!

Sprinting For the Finish Line

We're almost done with this year, gang. Let's finish it out with a bang!

Marc's Midweek Beef Haiku In Review

Top 5 Beef Haikus(Based on the # of Hits)

No.1 - Rugby Redux

Dripping with man-sweat
We pile upon each other
Grabbing for the ball

No. 2 - Lockerroom
Sweat runs down my back,
I know I can trust my buds.
Just dropped my towel...

No. 3 - Rugby
My, its long and thick
I sure like the tapered end
Rugby sure is fun!

No. 4 - Christian Cinema
Cast a gay actor
In a Christian-themed movie...
Watch the fun begin!

No.5 - Pirates

Search the seven seas
Always looking for booty....
I'm a butt pirate!

Year In Review - Part 1

I know the year isn't over quite yet, but given that its a slow week at work, its a great time to look back at the year that was here on echeblog. What was really important? Well, the easiest way to find out is to look at the top 10 searches that brought people here:

1. Brady Quinn - He may have finished 3rd in the Heisman voting but it was no contest here. Actually, there were a few variations of searches for Brady in the top 20 (or more), but I decided to combine them. I can't really blame you all - I could really spend all day looking at shirtless pics of Brady.

2. Chris Wide - Ah porn star beef. I'd put up a pic of him too but I think looking for it at work is probably a BAD idea.

3. Gay Beef - If this isn't the essense of this blog, I don't know what is.

4. Scorpians - Not really sure what to say about that one.

5. Mark Dalton Gay - He's pretty, but he's strictly gay for pay. Just so you know.

6. Lea Coco - If you're scratching your head wondering who the hell I'm talking about, go rent Dorian Blues - a recent gay coming out flick. Overall the movie is ok, but Lea Coco plays Dorian's hunky straight brother. I chalk this up to the fact that he's a relatively unknown actor who hasn't got much press, so there isn't much competition for those hits.

7. Gerard Butler Shirtless - He was hot enough in the Tomb Raider movie he was in, but if you've seen some of the shots of him shirtless in "300," the sexy Scott has raised his beef rating to a new level. Of course, he inspired his own haiku!

8. Scott Wolf - Ah Bailey from Party of Five. So cute.

9. Zubbles. Colored bubbles! Fun for the whole family! Who says this isn't a family friendly blog?

10. Lockerroom - Is an explanation really necessary?

Merry Kiss My Ass

The French really know how to celebrate Christmas!

(Thanks, Queerclick!)

Too F-in Cool!

Desire

Damn, Marlon Brando was hot.

Bad Habits

I know made this uber-optimistic entry a couple of days ago -- I was all geeked up about being willing to finally start living my life differently in order to bring about more enjoyable results. Albert Einstein once said that insanity meant "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Insights are wonderful and all, but when it comes down to it, unless you're willing to actually change what you're doing, nothing really changes.

Sometimes we get a reminder that even though we think things are different, we're still up to the same old bullshit. I wish change could come around easily (sometimes it does, I guess) but most of the time I think its mostly hard work. I guess my basic point is this -- its great to say you're ready for change in your life but that's not really true until you're ready to do what needs to be done and have the determination to see things through. One thing to remember is to never oppose a determined Scorpio. I'm done just talking.

The Spirit of Christmas!

Marc's Midweek Boxing Beef Haiku

With your hands of stone
you put me against the ropes,
then you take me down.

(Thanks, Bill in Exile!)

Casper

Ok, ever since I saw Starship Troopers back in 1997, I couldn't help but notice Casper Van Dien. Something about his stunning good looks and watching him shirtless and strung up being whipped was like watching hot S&M porn for my closeted self back then. He's been busy since then, appearing in a number of movies and TV roles that I've never seen. I missed seeing him in a loincloth in Tarzan and the Lost City. (Netflix to the rescue!) Apparently there is a Starship Troopers 3 in the works which he's slated for -- unfortunately, I saw Starship Troopers 2, which was AWFUL. I'm a big fan of Paul Verhoeven, who directed the first movie, as well as Total Recall, the original RoboCop and Basic Instinct. ST2 had none of what made the first movie interesting.

Anyway, back to the oh-so-pretty Casper. For some strange reason, he never really seemed to capture the public's attention. In any event, he's now in MyNetworkTV's Watch Over Me, which tells you the direction his career's gone, I'm afraid. Apparently, though, Casper's been playing a gay character in this show, one who gets some hot man on man action, too! We've come a long way from Melrose Place where Doug Savant's character was lucky to get a polite hug goodnight. Maybe the prospect of watching Casper get him a little man-love will be enough to tempt me to watch Watch Over Me... probably not.

Outside The Box

I can say that as far back as I remember I've always struggled with the sense that I didn't quite fit in. Its a difficult realization for someone in kindergarden that, "Hey, I'm really not like the other people here." As a result, I spent about 26 years of my life and more mental and emotional energy trying to please others and fit into the expectations of others, whether it was family, society, friends, what have you. It hasn't always been about being gay, but I think that was a big catalyst in things -- in a moment of desperation I finally accepted that I would never be able to fit myself inside those expectations -- the old cliche about fitting a square peg into a round hole comes to mind. At that point, I knew that my life, such that it was, would forever be changed.

In the past six years, I've gone through the process of tearing down just about everything in my life and trying to reconstruct things in a way that allows me to be myself and allows me to find the joy and connection I've always craved but always seemed fleeting. In that process I've had hopes and dreams spring to life only to turn to dust, I've met people I've loved and had to let go. In that experience, I've had the sense that everything was in a holding pattern, that I was just waiting for things to fall into place and then everything would start to flow the way I've thought it could. What I hadn't realized was that I had created my own box, my expectations of what I thought my life should look like, how my relationships should go, always waiting for the sign that "This is finally it!" Patience is a very good thing, I believe, and at the same time, so much of that time has been mired in that sense that I'm waiting, always waiting. Of course, the reality is that life wouldn't fit into my box anymore than I'd fit into the box of other's expectations that I'd spent so much time tearing down.

A year ago I met someone who really impacted me -- someone who embodied so many of the qualities I value and treasure and who's also been the catalyst in making me recognize those same things in myself. In so many ways he's exactly what I've wanted in my life for a long time. At the same time, he's had the audacity to want to live his own life and our relationship hasn't come anywhere near fitting in the box I'd created for my relationships. I suppose I can laugh about it now, but its been yet another exercise in trying to force life to fit into my expectations. Doomed from the start, but at least its only taken me another six years to figure it out.

A month ago I had reached the point where I admitted that this would never suddenly change and fit the expectations I had. I thought it was time to walk away, time to release this and try again. A funny thing happened -- the connection that had seemed to have faded away suddenly seemed stronger than ever. Color me confused. After a couple of weeks and a few chances to reconnect, I'm coming to realize that, as with the rest of my life, the expectations I've had really prevented me from enjoying what was in front of me all the time.

Whether its with work, DJing, relationship and love or my friendships, I can't stand here and predict how things will turn out, but I think its finally time to stop waiting and let the things in my life move and grow how they will, instead of trying to fit them into my expectations and always ending up disappointed. Its a little scary to let go of trying to control things, but at the same time, I'm finally ready to enjoy the possibilities.

Not In The Spirit?

Hey, sometimes Christmas doesn't feel quite the way you expect.

Christmas Spirit

I don't know about you, but nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit more than a bunch of hot, almost naked guys in Santa hats.

(Thanks, Towleroad!)

Pornaments

I know there have been some (Jake) who are struggling to get into the holiday spirit. Once again, I'm here to help. If the Reindeer Dogs didn't give you some jingle, there's still hope. Nothing says "Christmas" to me like Christmas ornaments of reindeer and snowmen in a variety of sexual positions. Apparently, Spencer Gifts agrees and had been selling a variety of sexually themed ornaments on its website and in its stores.

Of course, I (and Spencer Gifts) can't be trusted to make our own decisions on such an important issue as what we will put on our own Christmas Trees. Thank heavens for people like Hillcrest Baptist Church (Florida) Pastor Jim Patterson, who can save me from myself. He opines, "It says we are nothing more than sexual acts or physical beings and we are much more than that. We are spiritual beings and this is a spiritual holiday. And, why bring it to that level. It makes no sense to me." Well, if Pastor Jim doesn't understand it, then we sure as hell don't need it, right?

To the extent their argument is that kids could walk into the store and see this and other material that isn't appropriate for them, I can understand parents/community leaders wanting the store to prevent that. Granted, some of the people involved have focused on that aspect. I don't have an issue with them.

What DOES bother me is the segment determined to treat all of us like children -- Pastor Jim sums up this element -- "It is just sad they have to stoop to this kind of thing to defame Christmas... It's quite a leap we've made in 30 years of culture rot from mistletoe to Spencer's naked, tumescent elves and 'S&M Santa' tied up for a whipping." Listen, if someone wants to celebrate Christmas with a leather harness and a ball gag, the more power to them. Much like efforts to "protect traditional marriage," we're forcing living, breathing people to give up their freedoms to somehow "protect" abstract notions. In reality, these efforts are just efforts by cultural leaders to reinforce their attempts to run others' lives. I respect their right to live their lives in a manner they find to be moral and upright. I just wish they'd show others the same respect.

Marc's Midweek Hairy Beef Haiku

"Pink is the new black,"
they say. Here is what I say:
"Hairy's the new smooth."

Long Live Empress Snatch!

As part of an entry last week about a drag queen who died during a performance, I used the image of a drag queen who was completely unrelated to the incident in question. In the course of that fault on my part, I have upset a great number of people. Accordingly, I would like to take this time to formally apologize to Snatch, the Empress of the International Imperial Court of San Francisco, the Founding Court of the United States. To Her Royal Majesty I humbly offer my deepest regrets and beg her forgiveness. Long Live Empress Snatch!

A moral to the rest of you: Do NOT mess with drag queens.

Jesus Hates Soy

For those of you haven't already gotten your reindeer dog, here's an article that may convince you to do your God given duty to consume animal flesh...

"There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture... The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place...Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products..."

Ok, as much as I wish I could say that this guy was joking or that I'm taking these quotes out of context, the scary thing is that he's serious. I am constantly in awe of how Christianists (thanks Andrew Sullivan for coining that term) can find a bogeyman in the most mundane of things. A "devil food"? Are you kidding me? Soy is "threatening to tear apart our culture"? Hey, don't blame me, I ate tofu for lunch... The moral and social decline of our world is coming about because of an uptick in edimame sales? Un-frakking-beliveable.

From BoiFromTroy.

Reindeer Dog

Having a little trouble getting into the holiday spirit? Fred Markoff's hotdog stand in Glenview, IL has the answer -- reindeer dogs. Yes, for only $8, you can have your very own Chicago-style hot dog made with reindeer meat, straight from Alaska. Don't settle for artificial holiday spirit, get yourself some Blitzen with all the fixins for that holiday spirit that feels so good inside.

I. LOVE. MARGARET. CHO.

Absolutely brilliant.

A Performance to Die For

They always said that drag would be the death of him... they were right. Apparently, a contestant in an international drag festival in the Phillipines was electrocuted on stage during her performance. Performing as "Joan Montegracia," she went barefoot onto the outdoor metal stage, grasped the microphone and collapsed as the music began. It took the crowd several moments to realize that it wasn't just a part of the act. Guess she should have warn those heels that night.

Mariel

Ok, I know I griped on my birthday about the crappy mood I was in... sometimes when you're trying to bring about changes in your life its easy to get caught up in the impatience of wanting things to happen RIGHT NOW. I confess, that's one of my MOs - I want something and I want it NOW. But as I've mentioned before, I'm really feeling like maybe its time for the pieces to come together... and since I've done my best to emerge from that way crappy mood, I can look at some smaller things, like meeting some new people, finally leaving the club and things seemingly going reasonably well at work and finally feel like things really are on track. Hell no, things ain't perfect, but the feeling that things are finally moving is a VERY good thing.

I'm having a Muriel's Wedding moment -- "My name's Mariel... I'm a completely different person..." Maybe I really will escape in Porpoise Spit, find a hunky husband of my own and finally be able to say, "My life's better than an ABBA song... BETTER than Dancing Queen!" Of course, hopefully it'll all turn out MUCH better than it did for Muriel.

Interactive Table

Sometimes you just can't bring yourself to NOT make fun of certain people... That was the consensus from last night -- I met fellow bloggers (and new Phoenix residents) Jake and Matt at the Starbucks on Mill Avenue. I know my coffee intake has increased significantly since I started this new job, but Jake and Matt have made Starbucks their religion. Such dedication is refreshing.

They were quite fetching in their motorcycle helmets and riding jackets. I have to admit, they make a very cute couple. While the subject of Jake's ass did come up, for the most part, the conversation bounced around several topics, including lesbian tattoo artists, "bipolar" psychologists addicted to crystal meth and sassy British coworkers. It was quite an enjoyable hour that reaffirmed something I already knew -- I dig the company of creative people. Here's hoping we get a chance to hang out again soon.

Ideals

Thanks for those of you who left comments on my previous entry regarding my situation at the Club. To make a long story short, I decided that it was time for me to make a change -- I think both I and the club needed it -- after talking with the owner, he was surprisingly understanding and we remain on good terms. I'll talk about this more later, if anyone is interested, but I'm hoping that this was the step I needed to open up to new opportunities.

In fact, that's been a major theme of my life these days -- trying to be open to new opportunities and taking a step toward bringing the things I'm trying to create into my life. Of course, a big chunk of that is being clear about what you want. Then you have a much better idea whether something in your life, or a new opportunity, brings you closer to, or away from, where you want to go. In the DJing context, staying at my current place was going to take me away from where I wanted to go.

That brings me to my next point of focus -- if you've been following along here, or elsewhere, my love life is pretty much non-existent. A lot of that has really been about finally putting the other pieces of my life together, and I'd like to think maybe I'm the verge of that happening. That said, as I mentioned before, you gotta know what you're looking for, right? Well, I have the tendency to aim high.

So here are my two archtypical candidates -- John Crichton (from Farscape) and Lt. Karl Agathon (Helo) (from BSG). Both strong, brave, unflinchingly loyal and dedicated, along with a surprising level of emotional availablity and openness... not to mention both are WAY hunky. Of course, we ARE talking about fictional characters, but hey, it never hurts to discuss. Now, given that you could only take one or the other -- I'm a one man kinda guy -- who would you choose, and why? Take a minute to vote or leave a comment. I'll discuss my thoughts on the subject later.

Reichen

Apparently, its official -- Reichen and Lance are Splitsville. I know the corpse of their relationship hasn't even had time to cool yet, but can I say that Lance Bass is SO not hot? For those of you who haven't been following along with my every blog entry the past couple of years, here's an echeblog flashback to my accounts of a Reichen appearance here in Phoenix. He was only a minor celebrity back then, though still gracious (and a little tipsy). Certainly the whole Lance Bass episode has raised his profile quite a bit -- we'll see if its enough to jumpstart Reichen's acting career. I have no idea if he has any acting talent but that's hardly necessary to make in Hollywood, right? In any event, that's the end of one of the few gay celebrity power couples -- and it happened without any ugly reality TV shows, ala Britney/K-Fed or Whitney/Bobby. I guess that's the measuring stick of true equality -- to hell with marriage rights, when will gay celebrity couples have shows featuring their intimate details?

Here's another Reichen-related echeblog flashback!

World AIDS Day

HIV and AIDS affect us all. Over 40 million people are living with HIV right now, from all countries, from all walks of life. World AIDS Day is a time to stand up and support those who have been impacted, remember those we've lost and take action to show our leaders that it is time to stop the spread of AIDS and work even harder to find a cure. Stand up, speak out, make a difference.